


Run Away With Me

by crimsonkyber



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Diego and Winston are new besties, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Monty has a sad backstory, lonely boys, slight charlie x monty, wonty - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:20:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26435566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsonkyber/pseuds/crimsonkyber
Summary: Winston meets Monty at a summer camp and he seems to be the only one to realise that the boy is hiding a lot more than what meets the eye.“You promised you’d never leave me.”“Then don’t let me break that promise. Run away with me.”I’m scared but it’s okay because he is too.Together we won’t ever have to be alone again.
Relationships: Jessica Davis/Justin Foley, Justin Foley/Diego Torres, Montgomery de la Cruz/Winston Williams, Zach Dempsey/Charlie St. George
Comments: 91
Kudos: 253





	1. Camp Liberty

Summer camp. Out of all the places my parents had to send me to a summer camp. I haven’t been camping a day in my life and here they are sending me to a place full of strangers for nine weeks.

Nine whole weeks stuck out here with no wifi, no warm home cooked meals from the maid, no room to myself. The whole idea of summer camp sounded like absolute torture in my mind.

Any of these kids could be complete psychopaths for all I know but no matter how much begging or pleading I did my parents didn’t change their minds. The waterworks didn’t work this time. Think I might be getting too old for that trick now.

Funny how they never cared before until a friend of my mother asked what I was doing during the break. To no surprise they didn’t even realise the break was coming up so when they had no answer and she suggested this place they told her I’d love it just so they didn’t seem like the shitty parents they are.

When my parents told me they had a surprise for me this summer I imagined that meant they were getting me a dog or were going to take me away on a trip with them but no. How foolish of me to think that.

My whole life my parents have never paid any attention to me. Last Christmas I spent the entire holidays alone with the maid. The same maid that’s practically raised me since the day I was born, she’s more of a parent than they have ever been. But now they suddenly act like they know what’s best for me.

What’s best for me isn’t a stupid summer camp. They don’t know me at all. If they did they’d know all I want is for us to feel like a real family. To spend time together, to eat meals at the dining table and talk about our day no matter how boring they were and to play board games around the fireplace.

Instead they just send me away. It’s like they’ve never known what to do with me. I don’t even know why they had a kid in the first place.

We pull up in front of the camp. My mouth drops open as soon as I see the rotting wooden sign with the words ‘Camp Liberty’ printed in chipped blue paint. It looks like it could collapse at any second.

Maybe if I’m lucky it will fall down on me and I won’t have to go. A trip to the hospital seems more appealing at this point.

That’s it there’s no way I’m going to be spending my entire summer break at this dump. “Are you sure there’s no way I could come with you and dad to New York?”

“Winston darling I don’t have time for this we’ve been through this already.” She sighs using the same tone she always has when she can’t be bothered to argue with me, which is always and ends the discussion by getting out of the car.

The cool touch of metal against my skin from my pendant around my neck helps calm my nerves and I take a deep breath and follow her out. Nothing bad will happen when I have it with me.

I heave my backpack full of cameras and equipment out of the car and over my shoulder. No way in hell was I going to leave them behind. 

Her phone rings and she answers it before she presses a quick kiss to my cheek and b-lines back to the car. “Now have fun dear. I love y-“ She doesn’t even finish her sentence as whoever is on the phone becomes her main priority and then she’s gone. Not even a wave goodbye.

Guess that’s really it then. No getting out of this one. I’m all on my own. Just like always.

“Fuck.” I mutter under my breath as I attempt to pick up my suitcase. It’s heavy, like really heavy. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought as many clothes as I did. Nine weeks is a long time though and I don’t even know if this place has a washing machine.

The floor is muddy from the rain from the night before and I don’t want to get it dirty so I continue to struggle to pick it up, going red in the face from using all my strength (which isn’t much at all).

My foot catches a tree root on the floor and I stumble a few steps forward. I close my eyes and take a deep breath so I don’t have a complete meltdown right here where anyone could see me. That would be embarrassing. 

It’s useless, guess dragging my luggage through the filth is the only way. Great way to start off what I’m already imagining is going to be a dreadful summer.

A noise in front of me tears me out of my thoughts and I almost jump out of my skin realising that I wasn’t alone.

In the process I accidentally knock over my suitcase and attempt to pull it back up as I take a look at the person who scared the shit out of me. 

Leaning against the sign was a boy around my age or maybe a year older, a cigarette lit between his lips.

“Jesus you scared me.” I say letting out a startled laugh and my cheeks flush red as I realise I just said that out loud. He takes another drag, still not breaking eye contact.

He looks like one of those stereotypical bullies in the nineties movie. Red flannel, spiky hair, ripped jeans and a cigarette. Except for some reason he’s covered in dirt, like he’s been rolling around in the mud. I hope they don’t make us do that here.

How long has this guy been watching me stumble around like an idiot? We just stand there staring at each other and I’ve never felt more uncomfortable in my life. It doesn’t seem to bother him at all though.

It’s as if he’s enjoying how uncomfortable I am under his gaze. Asshole. His clothes are covered in mud yet he’s looking at me like there’s something wrong with me and not him.

I’m hoping he isn’t going to the camp. That he’s just one of those kids who smoke in parking lots in the middle of nowhere. No he’s definitely part of the camp.

There’s no one else around so I go to ask him if he knows where cabin three is or just anything to kill the painful silence but also because I have no idea where to go. I don’t get the chance though as a boy tall boy with blonde hair wearing a football jersey jogs up to us. “Monty counselor Caleb wants ever-"

He’s out of breath so he’s panting but stops mid-sentence as he sees me standing there with my bags and breaks out into a smile. “Oh! Hey you must be Winston.”

I frown, confused as to how he already knows my name. I’m worried that we somehow know each other and I’ve managed to forget him but I swear I’ve never seen him in my life. “Erm..how do you know that?”

“Oh- sorry didn’t mean to weird you out.” He smiles sheepishly and kicks at the dirt. I think he’s embarrassed. “Just that there’s only three newbies and Diego has already arrived and you don’t look like a Jessica so thought it was safe to assume you’re Winston.”

Three newbies? As in everyone else here has been before and decided to come again? Maybe their parents forced them like me. I swear if my parents make me come back again I’ll run away. “Oh right and you are?”

“Charlie.” He says stepping towards me and holds out a hand so I reach forward and shake it. He looks down at my bags. “You want any help with those?”

“No, I don't want to trouble you.” I say not wanting to embarrass myself any further by making another kid carry my bags as tempting as it was.

“Trust me, more than happy to lend a hand. Plus we are bunking together so I’ll take you there to drop your stuff off.” He says giving me another friendly smile and before I can even object he takes my backpack from me. At least this solves the whole not knowing where to go problem.

I almost tell him to be careful with it but I bite my tongue to stop myself because I don’t want to ruin my chance of making friends on the first day.

“Fuck St. George if you’re that desperate I’m sure Ryan will give you a quick handy.” The other boy snickers finally deciding to speak up and I had almost forgotten he was even there.

He flicks his cigarette on the floor and doesn’t even give us a second look as he heads back down the path. 

Charlie notices my face and laughs nervously. “Don’t worry, that's just Monty being Monty. He’s not that bad I promise.”

By the look on his face and the uncertainty in his voice I can’t tell if he’s trying to convince himself or me more. All I know is that I don’t think I’m going to be friends with Monty.

Charlie seems nice though even though his whole friendly nice boy next door persona is a bit over the top. He kind of reminds me of a golden retriever. 

“So what sends you to the great camp Liberty?” He asks with emphasis on ‘great’. I can’t tell if he’s joking or not. Everything that comes out of his mouth is in the same chirpy upbeat tone. I wonder if that gets tiring.

My brain can’t even come up with one single reason why I’d choose to come here myself so I tell the truth. “Honestly my parents forced me to come. Wanted me to get out of the house. Be immersed in nature.”

He laughs and nods like he knows what I mean. I don’t think he does though. “Well you’re going to love it don’t worry.”

Doubt it but I just nod. We’ve only been walking for a couple of minutes but I’m already out of breath. The only sound coming from my ragged breathing and the leaves crunching beneath our shoes as we walk down the path. “So how long have you been coming here?” 

“Quite a while, since I was 13. My friend Alex’s dad is a camp counselor here.” He tells me and I can feel my legs cramping up and my hand is sore from gripping onto my suitcase so hard. 

The pathway ahead seems to be never ending. Don’t even know if I’ll make it to the camp alive, my lungs feel like they are on fire. 

“You’ll get to meet him. He’s in our cabin plus the Jensen’s. Have you ever been camping before?”

Charlie manages to talk about everything and nothing as we make our way through the woods. We finally make it to the end of the path and stop in front of a row of cabins, all of them are painted in the same chipped blue paint as the sign.

There’s a wooden pole with multi coloured arrows sticking out of the top. Cafeteria. Lake. Hall. Bathroom. Bathroom? Great so the cabins don’t even have their own toilets, which means I’ll have to come back here in pitch black if I need to pee in the middle of the night. Perfect way to be murdered without anyone knowing. 

My arm’s cramped up from dragging my suitcase all the way down the path and I can’t tell if that’s why I’m so relieved to finally get here or because Charlie has finally stopped blabbering.

The door creaks as we enter the cabin and the walls are painted the same colour as the outside. They either really love this colour or just used the same paint tin for the entire place. My bet’s on the second option as it looks like it hasn’t been repainted in years.

Three bunk beds occupy each side of the room and there’s a block of shelves in the corner. It’s almost full except for two empty squares at the bottom. Guess that’s for me.

All the bottom bunks seem to be occupied and one bed has a cane propped up against it. I wonder what that’s about but keep my mouth shut because I don't want to seem intrusive. I’ll probably find out eventually anyways.

Charlie must have noticed me staring at the beds and I don’t even have to open my mouth for him to start. “If you want to switch it’s fine it’s just that I have a weak bladder- Alex can’t climb the ladder- I’m kind of tall so-” He rambles on so I cut him off and give a sympathetic smile. 

Part of me feels bad for the guy. Must be exhausting constantly trying to please everyone and I really couldn’t care less about whether I’m a top or bottom. Well for the bunk beds I mean.

“It’s fine dude, I’m not used to being a top but I’ll give it a go.” I say trying to stifle a laugh at my joke but it seems to fly over his head as he just nods looking relieved.

Charlie awkwardly stands by the door, shifting from one foot to the other while I start to unzip my suitcase. “You don’t have to stay I might be a while.”

“Oh alright cool. It’s lunch so follow the sign to the cafeteria and your sweet.” He says grinning, throwing me a thumbs up before he disappears out the door.

I stand up to stretch, hoping to get rid of the cramp in my arms and legs and collapse back down onto the bed beneath mine. Charlie looked fine after the walk as if it was nothing but I’m exhausted.

My muscles ache and my ankles feel like they are about to fall off. This is why I always avoid any physical exercise. No upper, lower or for that matter any body strength at all. The school nurse has become a second home during P.E at school.

The bed across from mine has comics scattered across the duvet while the top bunk already has clothes dumped all over it. The bed I’m sitting on is empty apart from the cane and a pair of headphones.

There doesn’t seem to be any belongings that stand out as alarming from my bunkmates so far but I haven’t ruled out the possibility of a psychopath amongst them yet.

Thankfully the cafeteria wasn’t as far away from the cabins as the camp entrance was. Don’t think my legs would have carried me that far if it was.

The cafeteria is nothing like the one at school but after seeing the cabins it's exactly what I imagined. There’s wooden park benches with cobwebs under them instead of actual tables, a run down little kitchen with a flickering light in the corner of the room and the floor looks like it hasn't been swept in years. Pretty sure a cockroach just ran past me.

The kitchen is closed but there’s a table with a few trays of food layered along it. Most of the food has been taken because I’m one of the last to get here but I manage to grab a blueberry muffin and what looks like a ham and cheese sandwich.

Everyone seems to have formed their own little groups. It’s like high school except there’s girls here. I search for Charlie but my hope to find someone to sit with is short lived when I see the guy from early sitting right next to him.

Monty I think his name was. He must have said something funny because Charlie laughs at him, eyes lighting up at whatever he said. Guess there goes that option. 

There’s an empty bench furthest away from everyone else so I sit down there. My stomach grumbles because I haven’t eaten since last night. I felt too anxious to eat this morning and I was worried I’d throw up in the car on the way here so I skipped breakfast.

I start to unwrap the plastic off the muffin when I notice a shadow hover over me. “Hey you mind if I sit?” The guy asks and I nod.

“Sorry. First time here and you had that new kid look too.” He says sitting down opposite me with a charming smile.

“Well you aren’t wrong.” I say and internally cringe at the sarcastic tone in my voice but the guy didn’t seem to notice at least.

“I’m Diego.” He says holding out a hand and I shake it. He has a firm grip and Jesus he’s fit. I try not to stare at how big his arm muscles are when we shake hands. Don’t want to freak him out when this might be my only chance of making a friend, so I bite into my muffin to distract myself. 

The muffins dry and it gets caught in my throat so I struggle to swallow it down and clear my throat before introducing myself. “Winston.”

“Man this place is pretty cool isn’t it? Can’t believe we get to spend our whole break here.” He says with a grin and it's infectious, I can’t help but smile back. 

Definitely not what I’d call it but I agree anyways. I can’t believe we are spending the entire break here too but not because I think it’s cool. 

Diego doesn’t seem like the typical guy I’d be friends with but so far he seems kind of cool. It’s better than sitting alone at least.

I’m about to ask Diego something when I hear someone call out my name. “Winston? Hey! Winston!”

The voice belongs to Bryce Walker, an old family friend and a year above me at school. I’ve only met him twice properly but our parents are good friends, we aren’t part of the same crowd at school. 

Didn’t think he’d remember me. His mother is partially the reason to blame why I’m here and not in the safe confines of my room. Over one cup of tea with Nora Walker and my mother suddenly thinks she knows what's best for me. 

The one time we had a proper conversation was when we had dinner at his place and he talked about football and girls the entire time. Two things I have no interest in but I just nodded like I cared so my parents wouldn’t tell me off for being rude.

His face was priceless though when he had asked if I had a girlfriend and I told him I was gay. Don’t think he’s homophobic though because he just apologised and went back to talking about football.

“Winston buddy get over here!” Bryce shouts with a grin and motions me over with his hand. “-and bring your friend too.”

He’s so loud that everyone else turns to stare at us. Thank god I decided to spend extra time styling my hair today. Hope walking through the forest didn't mess it up because I didn't get a chance to check. Great now I’m stressing about my hair.

Bryce is sitting at the same table as Charlie and Monty. Quite the strange combination. Charlie looks like a ray of sunshine while Monty looks like he wants to murder every single person in the room. 

I look back at Diego hoping he will want to stay here instead of going over to them but he’s already getting up. Don’t blame him though. Who wants to sit alone with a scrawny loser when the cool kids want you at their table. 

They’ve all dumped their food in the middle of the bench, it’s a mess but none of them seem to care. They all just grab at the pile, swatting the other’s hand away if they try to get something they want. “Long time no see man didn’t think you were gonna come.”

Yeah neither did I but I smile and shrug, trying to ignore the stares of the others at the table. Diego seems to be enjoying the attention though. 

“Hey man what’s up, I’m Bryce.” Bryce says introducing himself to Diego as two other boys slide across the bench to make room for us. 

I awkwardly swing my leg over the seat to sit down next to Bryce and leave space for Diego. Charlie’s across from me and throws me a big cheesy grin. If it wasn't for the football jersey he was wearing he’d look just as out of place as I do but I don’t think he realises. 

“Diego.” Diego says smiling as he sits down and bumps fits with Bryce like they are already good friends. He fits in perfectly with them unlike me.

Bryce introduces the guys around the table one by one. There was Charlie who I had already met then Monty next to him. Scott. Zach. Justin. By the time he’s finished introducing them I’ve already forgotten half of their names and who is who.

Everyone gives me a smile or a nod, which I return. All except Monty who didn’t even acknowledge me. He just snatches Charlie’s half eaten sandwich out of his hands and stuffs it into his mouth. Charlie giggles at him, cheeks flushed red as he watches him. Interesting. 

Monty was no longer covered in mud. The red flannel was replaced with a blue one and his hair was wet. He somehow managed to look even more like a douchebag.

Diego being here was a blessing in disguise because it meant that the attention was shared and I didn’t have all eyes on me. It’s not that I’m shy, I just hate being the center of attention.

“You play football?” Charlie asks eagerly and I don’t have to look to know he wasn’t talking to me, the over the top enthusiastic tone never leaving his voice. It was starting to annoy me- or maybe it was just because he brought up sports, which I know nothing about.

Diego laughs like he had told a joke and shakes his head. “Nah man Dominican’s don’t play football.”

“Seriously?! Dude you totally have the body for it.” Charlie exclaims and frowns like he didn’t get what was funny when Monty snickers at him along with a few of the other guys.

Well guess that means I’m not the only gay kid here. Charlie’s definitely not my type though.

“Fuck Charlie the dude just got here reel in the fag shit for a second but I mean he’s right that’s bullshit dude.” Monty scoffs, shaking his head and his eyes land on mine. 

This is the first time he’s acknowledged me since this morning and it’s while he was using a homophobic slur. Guess I was right about him being an asshole but did Bryce already tell them that I’m gay or was it just a coincidence?

“You got a girlfriend?” Monty asks, tearing his eyes away from me to look at Diego and I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Football and girls. Bryce’s friends are exactly like him, what a surprise. Don’t think I’m going to be spending much time with these guys if this is all they talk about.

Diego shakes his head and Monty leans back with his arms crossed, a smug expression plastered on his face as Bryce leans over to playfully punch him on the shoulder. Don’t get why guys do that. “Monty’s been boasting about his girlfriend all morning.”

“Still won’t show us any pics though.” A tanned guy with sandy blonde hair teases him, grinning. Think his name is Scott- or was it Zach? 

“Yeah cause I don’t want you creeps perving on her. I’ll tell you this though she has-“ Monty starts to say smirking but Bryce cuts him off.

“Big tits and a great ass. You’ve told us buddy.” Bryce finishes in a mocking tone like he was imitating what Monty had apparently been saying all morning. 

The rest of the guys laugh and start talking over each other, asking him stupid questions about the girl while I zone out and notice Charlie playing with a loose thread on his jersey like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. Looks like someone has an unrequited crush. 

A loud noise tears through the air, like an air horn or something and suddenly everyone starts to get up. Diego and I look at each other, both identical faces of confusion on our faces as we hesitantly get up. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one completely lost right now. 

Monty walks around the bench, pushing past me as he grabs a packet of biscuits and a juice box from the pile of food. He smells nice, like fruity and floral at the same time. Wasn’t expecting that. 

My eyes widen, realising that I just thought about what he smells like. No I am not going to allow myself to pine after the biggest asshole of the camp like Charlie is just because he’s attractive and smells nice. Not lowering myself to those standards. 

We follow everyone across the grass field and sit on the logs around an unlit campfire. Two men in the classic camp counsellor outfits that I thought they only wore in movies are standing in front of us, clipboards in hand.

“Glad to see a lot of familiar faces back here this year and a couple of newcomers. How about you guys introduce yourselves?” The older of the two men asks, he looks around the same age as my dad so the outfit looks kind of ridiculous. 

Diego clears his throat and just as he’s about to stand up a girl beats him to it. “Hi everyone! I’m Jessica and I’m really happy to be here. Going to be an awesome summer.” 

Someone whistles and her smile falters before she sits back down and folds her arms, not looking as happy to be here as she just said she was a second ago. 

I didn’t even have to look over to know the person who did that was part of Bryce’s crew. Someone is snickering to my left and they aren't even trying to hide it. It’s funny how the toughest of guys always are the most immature. 

The guy next to Jessica scowls at whoever whistled and rolls his eyes before whispering something to her and she nods giving his hand a squeeze in return. 

Diego was next and introduces himself confidently as I expected him to, earning a cheer from Bryce and then I realise it’s my turn. This is the part I was dreading, I was hoping we wouldn’t have to do this. 

My hand stumbles to find the pendant around my neck to reassure myself and Diego gives me an encouraging smile. Really hope I don't look as nervous as I feel. 

“Erm..I’m Winston.” I say introducing myself trying to avoid looking anyone in the eyes, I don’t even stand up. I just give a half-assed wave but that seems to be good enough. 

Bryce even leaned over to give me a fist bump, which I reluctantly returned. He’s not the type of guy I’d ever want to be friends with but it seems better to be with him than against him. At least for now. 

Nobody laughs or says anything so guess I didn't have anything to worry about. Maybe it was because I was sitting amongst Bryce’s friends. I noticed a boy flinch when Monty came too close to him on the way over here. 

“Excellent nice to meet you all and welcome to the camp Liberty clan!” Counselor Caleb says, his enthusiasm almost on par with Charlie’s. I think Charlie would be perfectly suited to work here when he’s older. “Now just as every year we are going to start the summer off with our annual canoe competition. So get your swimmers and meet us back here in five so we can take our fun to the lake!” 

My heart hammers in my chest and it’s almost as if I could feel the colour drain from my face. The first activity is canoeing. In a lake. Where there’s a good chance I could fall in. Just perfect. 

My parents told me I was going to love the activities the camp offered. Guess they forgot I can’t swim.


	2. Daddy Issues

Don’t rock the boat and you’ll be safe. Don’t stand up and you’ll be safe. Don’t even move and y-

“Hey you okay man?” Diego calls out as the boat rocks and my stomach flips. I think I’m going to be sick. I can already taste the blueberry muffin and ham sandwich from lunch at the back of my throat. Wonder how long that’s going to stay down.

“Would you believe me if I told you I can’t swim?” I shudder, through gritted teeth as the boat gets caught on something. I squeeze my eyes closed hoping to block everything out. I don’t care if it makes me look stupid. 

I thought that keeping my eyes shut would make me feel slightly more at ease but I think it’s making me feel worse because now all I can focus on is the swaying back and forth motion of the canoe against the water so I force myself to focus on the tree’s in the distance instead. 

If this is the camp's idea of ‘fun’ then I am dreading the rest of it. It’s only the first day and I hate it here. What kind of hell hole have my parents sent me to? 

“Honestly from the look on your face yeah.” He chuckles but not in a nasty way, I could hear the concern in his voice. At least he’s not making fun of me and I have one less thing to worry about.

The water beneath the canoe is murky and full of dirt and god knows what. Even if I could swim I wouldn’t want to fall in it. Who knows what lurks beneath the surface and I for one don’t want to find out. 

Diego frowns as he inspects my face. Now I’m worrying that I have food or something on it. Funny how anxiety works, one second I’m worrying about drowning and the next I’m worrying about looking bad in front of a cute guy. “You’ve gone kinda green.”

Guess I look as bad as I feel then. That’s not embarrassing at all. “If I die tell my parents it’s their fault.” I say as the canoe lurches forward as it bumps into another canoe, tightening my grip with one hand holding on to the edge of the canoe and the other wrapped around the strap of my life jacket.

Okay maybe I’m overreacting but not being able to swim while being trapped on a floating death-trap added with the fact that I can’t see the bottom of the lake is not a good combination.

Diego laughs so I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m joking. I’m not. He lets go of the oars to put a hand on my knee to reassure me and I almost jump at his touch. “Don’t worry man if anything happens I’ve got you.”

My cheeks flush red at his touch and I hope he doesn’t notice. Nobody has ever really given me a hard time over being gay. Sure, I get the odd joke at school but it’s never malicious and my parents never cared but I don’t know what the guys here are like especially since they didn’t correct Monty for what he called Charlie.

“Hey where’d you get that from?” He asks and I look down to see him pointing at the pendant around my neck. I almost forgot it was there, which is stupid because I never take it off.

My fingers wrap around the little wolf charm and I’m not sure if Diego’s only asking to distract me but it’s working anyways. “Oh erm I got it from a friend.”

Not entirely the truth but it’s close enough. I wasn’t given it but explaining it to Diego when I’ve only just met him would be weird. He opens his mouth to say something else so I worry he’s going to press for more answer’s but he just nods and smiles. “It’s cool looks like one of things you’d find in an old antique store or some shit. I like it.”

Someone yells out to my left and I look over to see Monty standing up in his canoe as Charlie tries to steady it, using an oar to poke at another canoe that belongs to the new girl Jessica and the boy she was with earlier.

“Monty shut the fuck up you idiot.” The boy argues, scowling at him but that just seems to encourage him even more. Everyone was starting to look and even Counsellor Caleb calls out to tell him to sit back down but he ignores him.

“What Standall it’s the truth. All newbies need to know the legend of the boy in the lake.” Monty snickers trying to do that spooky voice all kids do when telling horror stories as he gives one last forceful shove with the oar and their canoe starts to spin. Both of them look like they’re going to be sick, glad I’m not the only one now.

“What is he talking about Alex?” Jessica asks nervously as she grips onto the boat but Alex tells her to ignore him. At least focusing on them is distracting me from my own fears.

“Come on Monty, not cool man.” Justin calls out then looks back at Jessica and grins. Justin seemed to be pretty friendly with Monty earlier so part of me thinks he’s only calling him out to look good in front of the girls. “Don’t disrespect Jeff like that.”

Jeff? I can’t tell if that’s just some lame camp story they’ve made up to scare us but now a few of the guys that were laughing earlier have stopped, everyone looks uneasy at the mention of the name. It’s bizarre. Diego doesn’t look fazed so maybe it’s nothing or he could be just as confused as me. Nobody says anything after that though.

After that Monty just rolls his eyes and sits back down in his canoe, mumbling something to Charlie who just laughs awkwardly in return. For someone who goes out of his way to be overly friendly it’s strange he doesn’t seem to mind how much of a prick Monty is.

My knees are trembling and can barely hold me up by the time we have to drag the canoes to shore. Strangely once Diego reassured me the rest of the activity went by pretty fast but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t ready to kiss the floor once we got to land. I didn’t though because that’s gross.

All of us are sunburnt and tired by the end of the day. You’d think a summer camp would at least provide sunscreen if we were going to be out under the hot sun the entire day.

We still have to shower and have dinner but right now I just want to crawl up into that dusty, bug infested bed and sleep for eternity. I never want to go out onto that lake again, next time I’m going to pretend I’m sick like I do every time we have sport at school.

Everyone is worn out and hungry so we help put away the canoes in silence until someone decides to get in yet another argument to nobody's surprise. 

“Hey watch where you’re goin’ faggot.” Monty sneers and for a second I think he’s talking to me until I turn around to see him shove past a taller blonde boy. Here I was worrying about looking ‘too gay’ before coming here while that boy is a walking stereotype. Still doesn’t give Monty a right to pick on him though.

“No I think you better watch yourself.” The shorter guy next to the boy who Monty shoved says stepping towards him with his arms folded. Monty just laughs coldly like he isn’t threatened by the other boy at all.

“Tony let it go.” The blonde boy quietly pleads to the boy named Tony, pulling at his arm to hold him back. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Monty was looking for trouble and just wanted to rile them up.

Hillcrest has a few guys like that but I always manage to stay out of their way. I hate confrontation and would like to keep my face in one piece so avoidance is key. 

Diego and I- well mainly Diego because his arms are like three times the size of mine are still pulling our canoe out of the water but I can’t help but watch the scene play out in front of me and everyone else seems to be watching too. If Monty wanted an audience he’s definitely got one now.

“Yeah listen to your boyfriend Padilla or should I say girlfriend, it's hard to tell with you twinks.” Monty snickers and although he’s a lot shorter Tony shoves him hard, catching him by surprise as he stumbles back a few steps then launches forward to shove him back twice as hard.

“I don’t think getting in a fight is the smartest thing to do Monty especially if you don’t want to end up like your father.” Tony says warning him and Monty’s grin falters for a second. 

His face pales and he actually looks scared but just as quickly as his mask fell it was back like it had never left. But I saw. He’s hiding something. What Tony said had shaken him, looks like Monty has daddy issues.

“Rich comin’ from you Padilla. Aren’t like half your family in the slammer?” Monty retorts, trying even harder to get a reaction from Tony but he doesn’t look as confident anymore. Now he’s faking it.

“Indeed they are but its funny now that I think about it they’ve never brought up the name de la Cruz.” Tony says, clearly not one to back down and it aggravates Monty even more. 

Monty looks like he’s a second away from tearing after Tony, his nostrils are flared and his fists are turning white from how hard he was clenching them. It’s an unnerving sight and even Diego has stopped pulling the canoe to watch with me.

Tony must have really struck a nerve and it looks like nobody was willing to get in the way until Bryce grabs onto Monty’s shoulder and whispers something to him. Whatever Bryce said to him must have worked because he just spits at the ground before storming off, cursing under his breath in words that I don’t even think were English. 

We get sent back to our rooms to get changed and shower before dinner. Just as I was dreading the showers are communal. Rickety wooden doors painted in the same goddamn ugly blue as the rest of the place are the only barrier to protect us from being butt naked in front of all the other boys.

Luckily our cabin gets to shower first so I bring along my bag of toiletries and thank god I did because all they provided was a dirty cheap bar of soap that everyone has to share. 

I scrub myself down twice just to make sure I have no grime from the lake left on me even though the furthest I went in was from my ankles down.

The warm water runs out after two minutes and I have to quickly rinse the conditioner out of my hair with icy cold water. My teeth are chattering by the end of it, I’m sure to get a cold.

Everyone else from my cabin has already left by the time it’s the second cabins shower time and of course out of all the campers I have to walk straight into Monty, dropping my bag on the dirty floor.

We are almost the same height, I think I’m even slightly taller than him but that doesn't matter because he’s as solid as a rock. My shoulder is already starting to ache from slamming into his chest. 

We’ve been here for only a day and I already can’t seem to escape his wrath. All the other boys walk past me either giving me a smile or ignore me completely. Monty stops and watches me rush to pick up my bag, I’m hoping it’s not too drenched in the dirty drain water and thankfully it’s not.

I stand up and try to get past him but he’s blocking the doorway, slowly licking his lips in amusement watching me struggle to get past him and I don’t like the way it makes me feel. Sure he’s attractive but besides that he seems like a complete asshole. No amount of attractiveness could make up for his repulsive behaviour. 

“The fuck are you wearing a necklace for?” Monty snickers grabbing the chain around my neck to have a look at it, yanking me along with it. Our faces are so close that I can see the freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks. 

From afar his eyes look cold and dark but up close they look warm like honey, less intimidating. He actually has quite a pretty face, you wouldn’t know that though because from the second I met him he’s always been scowling.

My eyes widen when I realise that I’ve just been admiring his face and I snap back to reality realising who he is, he doesn't seem to notice though. I still plan to avoid confrontation but I’m also not going to stand by and let this homophobic asshole walk all over me. 

“Don’t touch it.” I say a little more aggressively than I intended to but it seems to have worked as he just lets go and takes a step back. He gets a strange look on his face and I don’t like the mischievous glint in his eyes or how easily he did what I said before he turns around and walks off.

We have half an hour to kill before dinner so I go back to the cabin to find everyone else there. Everyone has damp hair because this place has no dryers, we all look like a pack of drowned rats. I’m hoping if I use enough gel my hair will at least have some shape to it by the time it dries.

This is the first time I’m getting to properly meet some of my bunkmates since we didn’t really talk while getting changed into our bathers before. I had to awkwardly get changed under the covers in my bed with my face to the wall in case someone thought I was perving on them but nobody said anything so once again I was paranoid for no reason. 

What I’ve learnt so far is that Justin and Clay are adoptive brothers. Alex and Charlie have been friends since they were little and he’s also friends with the new girl Jessica. I don’t mind Alex he seems alright, especially since he’s been one of the only people so far to stand up to Monty besides the other guy Tony.

Since I’m the only new comer in our cabin I thought I’d get bombarded with questions but everyone seems pretty chill so I only get asked a few questions like if I had a girlfriend or what school I go to. 

So I guess that meant Bryce hadn’t told them about me or the fact I was gay, which they were cool about when I told them. Charlie even told me he’s bi, which that much I had already guessed.

“So anyone here that I should avoid?” I ask as I stand in front of the old mirror that’s hanging by a rusted nail in the corner of the room, trying to salvage a few curls in my hair with gel but I’m already expecting the answer I’m going to get.

“Monty.” Alex answers immediately without a second thought. Not sure what happened between the two but Alex clearly doesn’t like him, especially going by their fight this morning. 

“What? Oh come on he’s not that bad.” Charlie defends Monty, frowning but nobody else argues with Alex, the other guys seem to agree. Even Justin keeps his mouth, which Charlie doesn’t seem to appreciate.

“Oh Charlie only you could say that.” Alex says, giving him a sympathetic smile but there’s a hint of sarcasm behind his words. Alex and Charlie seem to be good friends but so do Charlie and Monty so I’m not sure how that works.

“I feel sorry for any girl he dates.” Clay says, not looking up as he reads from one of the comics I saw piled on his bed earlier and Alex agrees with him. Looks like I’m not the only one who isn’t a fan of Monty. Good to know.

“Didn’t you hear he’s got a girl now. Been boasting about it since the minute he got here.” Justin says and Charlie's smile fades, his eyes catch mine for a second and his smile is back but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“That poor girl.” A female voice says from behind us and a girl with curly brown hair walks into the room, plunking herself down on the end of Alex’s bed.

“H-hey Hannah.” Clay stammers, jumping upright on his bed so fast he almost falls off in the process but Hannah just gives a light laugh and smiles as she greets him back. It’s kind of painful having to watch Clay embarrass himself in front of a girl he’s clearly crushing on.

“It’s total bullshit. Monty’s a liar, he pulled the same stunt in the 7th grade. He found photos of a random girl on the internet and pretended it was his girlfriend.” Alex scoffs and Charlie shifts uncomfortably in his chair probably feeling awkward that they are talking about his friend like that.

Now its clear why Alex doesn’t like him, he’s had to put up with him since the beginning of high school, and I’m just dreading spending the summer with him.

At first Monty looks like a guy who wouldn’t have any trouble finding a girlfriend but from Hannah’s reaction maybe girls see through his bullshit just as easily. Sure he’s got that whole ‘bad boy’ vibe but from going by how much of a dick he was to Jessica it seems like he’s just as cruel to girls as he is with guys. Definitely not boyfriend material.

“Wait shit seriously?” Justin laughs in disbelief and even Charlie looks mildly interested in the conversation now even if he’s pretending not to.

Alex nods. “Yeah he’s a coward. Ended up moving schools after that without any explanation but it’s not hard to guess why. Now he blames it on his dad being in jail ”

“Why is his dad in jail?” I ask blurting out the question before I can even think it through.

“His dad’s some Mafia leader or something- I don’t know that’s all he’s told us.” Alex tells me casually shrugging like we are talking about a video game or something, not the fact that someone here is the son of a mafia leader. “Every year Monty goes on and on about him, he idolises his dad. Guess it’s a good thing he has a girlfriend, now he finally has something else to go on about.”

Everyone else starts talking about guessing what’s for dinner but I can’t get my mind of what Alex just said. If Monty idolises his dad then he’s a lot scarier than the typical high school bully I thought he was. But what doesn’t make sense is why he looked so terrified when someone else mentioned his dad. Something wasn’t adding up.

Part of me feels bad for asking someone else about his personal life, it's none of my business and I’m not sure why I care but I guess that’s just the ways of gossip. Sucks you right in even when you don’t mean to pry.

“Oh hey, Alex your friend Jessica…is she erm single?” Justin asks out of the blue and it's obvious he’s been waiting a while to ask that. I knew there was a reason Justin told Monty off for trying to scare Jessica and it wasn’t just trying to be a decent guy.

“And that’s my cue to leave, dinners in five boys.” Hannah rolls her eyes playfully and bounds back out the door. Internally I’m wishing I could leave with her so I won’t have to listen to yet another conversation about girls.

“Don’t even try it Justin. Stay away from Jess.” Alex scolds and I wonder if he and Jessica have a thing, he seems protective of her. Not the most romantic place to take your girlfriend though if they are dating. 

“What, you into her Standall?” Justin asks, a slight tinge of jealousy in his voice as he raises an eyebrow but Charlie and Clay laugh at his response. I feel like I’m missing something. 

“Oh my god Justin you know I’m gay right?” Alex says giving him the ‘are you serious face’. Well I guess that answers my question. I mean not that surprising but I guess I haven’t paid much attention to Alex so far. My mind has been elsewhere.

Justin’s face flushes red with embarrassment and he hides behind a comic that he snatches from his brother’s pile. “Oh shit yeah sorry..forget about it.”

When dinner time comes I sit with Alex and Clay since they invited me to their table and I didn't want to be rude plus Diego wasn’t here yet so I didn't really have anyone else. Justin ends up sitting with us too, so maybe it's normal to switch between groups.

Someone clears their throat from behind us and I turn around to see Zach awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. I wonder if he’s been standing there for long. “Uh, hey guys.”

“Oh Zach you gonna eat that?” Justin asks, looking at the piece of cake that’s wrapped up in cling wrap in his hands even though he already has a pile of cookies on his plate.

“No, actually I got it for Alex. I know it’s your favourite.” Zach says smiling at Alex and his cheeks turn pink with all of us looking at him in silence. 

He looks embarrassed so I try to make it less awkward by poking at my plate of what I think is some kind of burnt meatball and pasta sauce dish minus the actual pasta. These are definitely not the kind of balls I like. 

Alex just frowns looking at the cake and his face scrunches up, he doesn’t seem too impressed. “Why does it look like…that?” He says pausing in between each word and Zach’s smile fades.

The cake is kind of squashed, it looks like it’s been stepped on or something so I can see why Alex is wary especially since Zach is one of Bryce’s guys and friends with Monty. Maybe he’s worrying that someone did something to it. “Oh erm sorry had to wrestle it from Monty it’s his favourite too.”

Alex couldn’t look more disgusted if he tried, I could see Justin and Clay trying not to laugh in the corner of my eye but I feel bad for Zach. He actually seems like a nice guy so far. “Think I’m going to pass..”

“Sweet your loss, more for me then.” Monty appears from out of nowhere behind Zach like he had already known this was going to happen and grins, snatching the cake from Zach’s hands and adding it to the pile of food on his already full plate.

It was strange seeing a guy like Zach getting nervous over a guy like Alex. No offence to him. Zach gives Alex one last look but leaves looking defeated when he doesn't say anything as he trails off behind Monty, who seems on top of the world now he’s scored the piece of cake as he whistles happily to himself all the way back to his table. 

Finishing my sandwich and trying to keep up Clay’s rant about some alien killer robot’s thing I feel uncomfortable, like someone’s watching me. I try to force myself to listen to Clay but soon his voice drowns out and all I can focus on is that feeling.

Trying my best to act subtle I look over my shoulder and scan the room until my eyes land on his. Monty was nodding along to something Bryce was saying but his eyes were on me, he didn’t even look away when I caught him.

I don’t know what his problem is. Maybe it was all like a sick game to him, trying to make people feel as uncomfortable as possible but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction so I turn back around and don't look back for the rest of the night.

\-----  
The floor creaks and my eyes snap open but I don’t move. I have no idea what time it is but I still can’t sleep. The bed’s stiff and someone has been snoring since the second the lights went out. Not that I’d thought I’d be able to sleep on the first night anyways.

Someone creeps past my bed slowly like they are trying not to get caught or wake anyone up, they accidentally trip over something and curse under their breath. In the darkness and from my position on the top bunk I can only see the top of their head before the door opens then shuts.

Voices can be heard from outside of the cabin and I pull across the corner of the curtains to see two people talking. It takes my eyes a second to adjust to the darkness but I can just make out their faces with help from the glow of the lantern outside.

It’s Charlie and Monty. Charlie looks excited, like a kid going to a carnival for the first time while Monty looks nervous, his eyes shifting as if he’s worried someone will see them. 

I know from this morning Monty likes to sneak off to smoke but this doesn’t look like he’s out for a late night cigarette, he didn't seem to care when I saw him this morning but now he looks anxious. 

For a second I think they are waiting for someone else, maybe the rest of their friends but Justin is sound asleep so I don’t think this is a group meet up. Monty says something to Charlie but I don’t know what they are saying- my lip reading skills are pretty poor. 

My question is answered when nobody joins them and they walk off, disappearing into the darkness like they were never there in the first place. Maybe they can’t sleep like me, there’s an endless amount of reasons why they could be out there but the nervousness of Monty can only make me think of one thing. 

I’ve seen that face plenty of times before, at parties when I’ve hooked up with guys who claim they're straight, who would only be themselves behind closed doors or in this case in the dark. Interesting, maybe the crush wasn’t so unrequited after all. The unlikely friendship between them is starting to make sense now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know there hasn't been much wonty interactions yet but starting from the next chapter it really picks up. Let me know what you thought :)


	3. Drowning

I don’t think I slept for more than an hour last night, light was already peaking through the curtains and I could already hear the birds chirping by the time I fell asleep. After seeing Charlie and Monty sneak out last night it was hard to fall asleep, I had a million theories running through my mind. 

Everyone is still fast asleep when I wake up, it’s weird sharing a room with four other guys. I always managed to get out of school camping trips so this is a new experience for me. So far this hasn’t been the worst part of the camp surprisingly, there could definitely be worse roommates. 

Since I woke up at the crack of dawn I decide to head to the bathrooms early to shower in peace. It’s relaxing not having to worry the entire time about one of the guys (Monty) pulling the door open to see me straight up naked.

I even got to switch between showers so I had more than just two minutes of hot water to wash myself. Think I’m going to do this every morning now, it’s worth losing a sleep-in if I don’t have to shower in icy water and have my nose running like a tap by the end of it. 

I got back to the room and had enough time to decently style my hair with gel before someone else wakes up. Starting the day off with bad hair would just put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. 

I’m smoothing down the last few curls when Alex grumbles a good morning to me and asks if I want to head to breakfast with him. He goes off to quickly freshen up in the bathrooms so I flip through one of Clay’s comics trying to understand why everyone is so obsessed with them before we head off to the cafeteria. 

Early in the morning the camp looks just as eerie as it does at night. Mist covers the grounds, we can barely see a few metres ahead of us through the fog and there’s a chill in the air even though it’s summer. 

It reminds me of the creepy games that Braedon used to play. Part of me feels like a rotting hand is going to burst through the mist and a zombie is going to pull me under. 

I should never have watched him play those games, I’ve never been able to handle anything to do with horror and this camp looks like it came straight from the set of a horror movie. 

Walking with Alex is kind of awkward since we don’t have much to say after only meeting each other yesterday but it was still nice to have a friend to walk with and it's better than walking alone. I was sure going by myself to the bathroom this morning that something would have jumped out of the mist and I’d never be seen again. 

On the way there he tells me about his dad being the camp leader- which I already knew from Charlie and how embarrassing it was but I tell him it was kind of cool. I didn’t think that at all, I would die if I had to see my dad dressed up in one of those horrific outfits but I wasn’t going to tell him that.

He’s still lucky that his dad puts that much effort in with him though, I can’t even remember the last time I had a proper conversation with my dad that wasn’t him telling me off for my poor grades.

Before I didn’t notice it but now I realise Alex has a slight limp to his walk, he covers it pretty well though. I wonder what happened to him but I feel like it's too soon to ask that. 

The cafeteria was almost empty besides two guys sitting at a table furthest in the corner, huddling together over a camera, laughing at whatever they were looking at on it. 

Alex seems to be friends with them because they call out when they spot him and I just give an awkward half smile because I don’t know if they are waving at me too. Don’t want to make the mistake of waving back when it wasn’t for me. Done that way too many times. 

I was hoping Diego would show up so I could go sit with him but nobody else has arrived yet. I guess it’s better than sitting with Bryce’s group at least, anything to avoid Monty going on about his ‘girlfriend’ again or listening to them blab on about stupid football like its the most interesting thing in the world. It’s like all they do is eat, sleep and breathe it. 

After I plate up a cold piece of toast and a scoop of very suspicious looking scrambled eggs, I follow Alex over to their table. Looks like I was right about them being friends. It's confusing trying to remember who’s friends and who hates each other here especially with Alex, he seems to hate a lot of people. 

Once we sit down Alex goes straight into complaining about the beds like he was the one instead of me who didn’t sleep at all last night so don’t think he should be the one complaining. 

I do agree though, sleeping on those beds felt like lying on a plank of wood. Just what I expected from this place. But if he’s complaining after coming here for years I’m not expecting to get used to it anytime soon. My parents better be prepared to pay for a chiropractor after this. 

The boy with thick black eyeliner and spiky black hair laughs as he watches me poke at my eggs, trying to not look as disgusted as I feel looking at them. “We reckon they aren’t even real. Ty saw chef Hatchet with a container of powder labelled eggs so I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”

I drop my fork back onto the plate and shove it away from me, there goes my appetite for this morning. Note to self never try the eggs. “Huh, thought they looked a bit dodgy.”

“Oh-“ Alex swallows his bite of food before he introduces me to the two guys, probably just realising that I haven’t met them yet and that’s why I’ve been quiet. “Winston- that’s Cyrus and Tyler.”

Cyrus gives me a nod of acknowledgement and grins as he leans back on the bench, he looks like he’s come right out of an emo band from the early 2000’s. I didn’t realise people still dressed like that but he honestly manages to pull it off somehow. 

The other guy- Tyler just gives me a small nod and a shy smile, he’s the guy I noticed being pushed around by Monty all throughout yesterday. 

He notices the camera around my neck and his smile grows. I’m happy to see that I’m not the only one who couldn’t part without it. Tyler starts showing us the photos he took from last night and I appreciate how easy it is to fall into conversation with him even if we just met. 

I nod along enjoying being able to talk to someone who is as passionate about photography as I am but also keep my eyes trained on the door as I wait for him to arrive. I know its stupid to already have a crush after only being here for a day but I’m a horny teenager, sue me.

I’m already finished my food by the time he shows up. Diego walks in talking to Monty and Charlie and he’s all I can focus on, its like everything else just drowns out around me like in those cringy Netflix romcoms. 

My breath catches in my throat when his eyes land on mine and he smiles at me. Fuck he just looked at me and I’m blushing already. I try to smile back but for some reason it’s like I’ve forgotten how to smile. I probably look like I’m in pain. 

Clay joins our table grumbling something about Justin being impossible to wake up and I force myself to stop looking at Diego. I really need to pull myself together. I mean I don’t even know if Diego swings that way but I do have the slightest slither of hope after he said he didn’t have a girlfriend yesterday.

Today’s activity is a scavenger hunt through the forest. I could care less about it but I’m just thankful that it’s not anything to do with the lake. We have to partner up and I know who I want to partner with straight away.

Once breakfast is over I find Diego chatting to Justin so I wait, pretending to be interested in snapping a few shots of the ducks waddling around the grass then take my chance to ask him when Clay calls Justin over.

Diego smiles at me when he sees me coming over and I swear each step I take my heart thuds twice as hard in my chest. “Hey erm... you got a partner? Y’know for the stupid scavenger thing?”

I cringe when I remember that unlike me Diego is actually excited to be here but he just laughs. He opens his mouth to answer me but before he can someone interrupts us by swinging an arm over my shoulder and ruffling my hair that I spent half an hour perfecting this morning. Monty.

My eye twitches and I take a deep breath to stop myself from shoving Monty off. There’s no way I’d even get a punch in against him, it would be useless trying. The guys build like a brickhouse, my fist would probably shatter against his chest if I even tried.

My shoulder still kind of hurts from banging into him yesterday in the showers. I know it's pathetic but that’s enough to stop me from even considering starting something against him. I’d like to remain in one piece by the end of the summer. 

“Beat ya to it man. Sorry.” Monty winks and grins in satisfaction but I know he isn’t sorry. Of course out of everyone he has to pick Diego, it's like he’s trying to make my time here as miserable as possible. 

I mean sure I can join Alex or maybe Tyler and Cyrus but it would have been nice to spend time just with Diego without everyone else around especially after embarrassing myself on the canoe yesterday.

I just nod, feeling embarrassed that I thought that Diego would want to partner with me instead of one of the other guys who he actually would be interested in hanging around. 

“Who says we can’t go as a three-way or whatever?” Diego proposes and my cheeks flush red as Monty snorts but Diego doesn’t seem to realise what’s so funny. That manages to make him even cuter in my mind. 

“Oh he’d love that wouldn’t he.” Monty snickers looking right at me and I roll my eyes. If he’s going to act like this the entire time there’s no way I’m going to make it through the whole day. 

Charlie clears his throat from behind us and I didn’t even realise he was there. Monty frowns, apparently not realising either as he finally removes his arm from around me. “Monty, I thought we were going to be partners…like always.”

“Charlie, fours a crowd go join Bryce or some shit I don’t fuckin’ care what you do.” Monty tells him, turning his back to him once again like he wasn’t worth another second on and Charlie’s face falls, the words clearly hurting him.

I was about to ask him if he would like to partner with me instead but that would probably make him feel even worse and honestly I’m not sure if I could take an entire day of listening to Charlie ramble on. No offence to him.

We all get given a list of items to find and an hour to complete the task. I already don’t have a good feeling about wandering around the forest with Monty but at least Diego will be with us and thankfully for my sake the lake is out of bounds. 

But funny how after yesterday my plan was to stay as far away as possible from Monty and here I am about to spend the entire day with him. The universe just never lets me catch a break does it? 

There are about a million other things I’d rather be doing than a scavenger hunt at a summer camp but walking between two hot guys isn’t the worst. Monty’s flannel is now tied around his waist so he’s only wearing a tight white tank and shorts. 

Here I was crushing on Diego but I couldn’t take my eyes off of Monty. Just because he’s a piece of shit doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate his looks. I’m not stupid enough to try anything. It’s clear how awful he treats Charlie even though there might be something between them. It’s not worth it. 

I force myself to focus on the forest grounds instead to prevent any…hormonal mishaps. Would be embarrassing to get a hard on right here in front of both of them.

I don’t even know how long we’ve been following Monty through the forest for but it's so hot that I’ve already started sweating through my shirt. I feel disgusting, my skin is covered in sweat and bug spray that I put on myself earlier this morning because last night I got attacked by mosquitoes and now my legs look like I have some sort of rash. 

Along the way Monty picks up a massive stick first using it to wack every tree we walk past for reasons I don’t understand at all and then he gets the genius idea to start trying to trip me over with it. Asshole, I wish he’d go back to attacking the trees instead of me. 

Once he ditches the stick I feel something tug at my back and I look over just in time to see Monty take a swig out of my drink bottle. Great. Just great. I have no idea where his mouth has been after sneaking off with Charlie last night. I’m imagining the worst.

Monty’s been taking us down this trail leading us to god knows where. He tells us that it's where one of the items for the hunt most likely is but I doubt it. Neither Diego or I protest though because he’s the only one that knows where anything is here. 

The trail ends right at a small river and Monty stops right in front of it, turning around to grin at us. I doubt we are going to find any of the items there. He probably hadn’t planned to find anything in the first place, he was just taking us where he wanted to go. Why am I not surprised. 

“Last one in has to suck camp gaysellor Caleb’s dick.” Monty snickers, tossing his flannel to the side and pulling off his shirt before kicking his shoes to the side. I quickly look away so he doesnt catch me staring but hot damn his body is...well- perfect. 

I’ve already seen him shirtless in the showers but up close he looks even- no. Focus on Diego. I like him, not Monty. 

Monty dives in without another look back. He breaks the surface and shakes his hair as he looks between us. His hair is all spiky and you’d think it would look stupid but he manages to pull it off of course. “You gonna come in or not?” 

“No Monty, I just want to finish the stupid challenge and we aren’t supposed to go in the lake anyways.” I tell him, cringing at how much of a goody two shoes I sound and he rolls his eyes in return. I couldn’t care less about the challenge but getting into a lake with Monty does not seem like the safest thing.

“Of course the faggot’s scared.” Monty taunts with a smirk and that was all it took. He was challenging me, so challenge accepted. 

I take off my backpack and place it to the side as far away from the water so my camera doesnt get ruined. That’s the only thing keeping me sane so far, no way am I risking losing it. 

“Dude don’t say shit like that, its not cool.” Diego says, frowning and shaking his head at Monty who’s smirk falters, he wasn’t expecting that. He probably isn't used to people calling him out. 

“The fuck do you care- wait. Holy shit are you two fucking?” Monty grins as he looks between us and I feel my face grow hot.

Diego ignores him and looks back at me, giving me a reassuring smile but I can tell he wants to go in too. “Hey man you don’t have to do it. Don’t let him get to you.”

But I do, it’s fine I can see the bottom of the river from here. I won’t drown and if I do then at least I won’t have to put up with Monty for nine whole weeks. I shrug off my shirt and kick my shoes to the side, taking a deep breath before jumping into the water after him. 

It’s freezing, I keep my eyes closed and my mouth shut so I don’t contract whatever diseases this river probably contains. I panic for a second, worrying that it’s deeper than what I thought but then my feet touch the ground and relief floods me. Although it wouldn't be the worst for Diego to have to do CPR on me. 

Just as I break the surface of the water, gasping for air I make it just in time to see Diego pulling off his shirt. Perfect timing, this may be the highlight of my day. 

Monty scoffs across from me and I look to see him raising an eyebrow at me. My cheeks burn red so I dip back under the water to further myself from anymore embarrassment.

Of course he had to catch me staring at Diego, now he has something else to hold against me. At least he didn’t call me out on it as I thought he would have. 

Part of me was ready to get back at him and ask him about what he was doing sneaking off with Charlie last night. But since he didn’t I guess this saves us both the humiliation.

Once I finally get over the bone chilling temperature of the water it’s actually quite relaxing. I may not be able to swim but I can float on my back, it’s peaceful just looking up at the sky like this. Maybe sticking with Monty wasn’t the worst idea after all. 

I spoke too soon. One second I’m floating on my back and the next I get knocked under the water, my arms flailing around like an idiot as Monty tries to hold me under. I’m sure I’m going to drown until Diego manages to pry him off of me.

I only thought I’d have to worry about Monty being a dick. Now I have to add worrying about him murdering me to the list. If Diego wasn’t here I would most likely be lying face down dead in the river. 

“Shit- what the fuck man he can’t swim.” Diego yells, keeping a firm grip around my shoulder, which would be affecting me in multiple ways if I wasn’t so embarrassed as I splutter and cough up dirty river water. He helps guide me out of the water and right about now I would love it if the floor opened up and swallowed me whole. 

“Sorry.” Monty mutters, trying to supress the grin forming on his face as he doesn't even try to argue with Diego. I don’t like the smug look on his face like he’s pleased with himself about something and I don’t know why. Just like he was in the bathroom yesterday. 

Maybe Tony was right and he’s hoping to join his dad in jail, killing me would be the perfect solution. I don’t think I need to be worried about one of my roommates being the camp psycho now.

He slowly walks out of the river and shakes his hair, flinging water droplets all over me but that’s not what catches my attention. The water has made his shorts cling to his legs and- well lets just say he’s packing. 

\----

To no surprise we didn’t win the scavenger hunt. Alex and Charlie managed to win, maybe I should have asked to be his partner after all. After almost drowning in the river thanks to Monty I gave up on the challenge and went straight to the showers to save my hair before the swamp water completely ruined it.

Dinner came and went, I was too exhausted after today's trauma to properly engage in conversation with anyone so I just nod along to Clay go on about Alien Killer Robots once again with some girl named Ani.

Even after I tried giving the comics a go this morning I still don’t get the hype and by the end of dinner Ani’s voice has already given me a headache so I’m definitely going to steer clear of her next time. 

We have sausages and it takes everything in me to not compare it to the bulge in Monty’s shorts today. I failed obviously. The guy almost drowned me and all I can think about is his dick. Nice one Winston, try and aim my standards any lower why don’t I. 

Everyone is just chilling in their beds, listening to the music Alex was playing from his speaker while I’m standing in the mirror fixing my hair once again for a guy before we head back out for tonight's campfire.

I need to look good for Monty- I mean Diego. I need to look good for Diego. Jesus I just saw the outline of his dick and now it’s suddenly all I can think about. Maybe the ice cold showers will come in handy after all. 

Just thinking of the shower makes me think of yesterday with Monty. I’ve decided to allow myself to fantasize about him for the rest of the day until tomorrow and then it's back to pinning after Diego again. 

Now my mind goes back to how weirdly sexy it is that he smells of fruit and cigarettes, how the way he yanked me forward with just a pull of my necklace was such a turn on. Wait- my necklace. I look down to see my neck bare. It’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter let me know what you thought :)


	4. Thief

What was once neatly folded piles of clothes tucked away into my shelf on the old rotting wooden cabinet is now an absolute mess, clothes and all of my belongings scattered across the floor. 

The maid would have a stroke if she saw this. The amount of hours she spends ironing my clothes and here they are crumpled in a heap, undoing all her work. But I’m not home so at least I don’t have to worry about that on top of everything else.

I think Charlie asked if he could help at one point but I didn’t answer, my bunkmates are looking at me like I’m crazy. I can’t blame them considering they’ve only known me for a couple of days and here I am tearing apart the room without any explanation why, muttering to myself every few seconds like a mad person. 

Panicking isn’t helping either but my mind is racing as I try to remember where I put my necklace and I groan in frustration when I realise it could be anywhere. I sink down to my knees and run my hand across my face but flinch in disgust when I feel the sweat on my hands. I wipe my sweaty palms against shorts as I try to calm myself down and try not to embarrass myself in front of them any further. 

In the summer heat the cabins turn into a sauna, I feel like I could melt into a puddle right here on the floor. We keep the windows closed during the night to keep the mosquitos out but honestly I’d take that over waking up soaked in my own sweat in the morning. 

Thankfully now my bunkmates are keeping to themselves, acting as if I didn’t just have a breakdown in the middle of our cabin. I half expect them to start filming me to show the other guys and I’d be the laughing stock of the camp but instead they all look worried for me.

Once I realise that it’s not here I start to feel sick in my stomach as the reality sinks in that I may have lost my necklace for good. The one thing that means more than life to me is gone. 

It could be lost in the forest for all I know, buried amongst the leaves and I’ll never see it again or it could have slipped down the drain in the showers or maybe it’s at the bottom of the river after Monty- the river. 

Then it clicks. The look that Monty gave yesterday after he backed off so easily when I told him not to touch it was the same look he gave me today after almost drowning me and now it’s gone.

The conch shell still hasn't been blown yet so it means I still have time before the campfire to. Without another word to my bunkmates I leave our cabin with them all staring after me in confusion. Yeah they definitely must think I'm crazy. 

I try to come up with what I’m going to say to Monty in my head on the way there. Starting a fight would be stupid, I know I have no chance of winning against him but I’m not letting him get away with this. 

Monty must have taken my necklace. That’s the only explanation and what I reassure myself as I slam my fist repeatedly against his cabin door. That’s why the asshole seemed so smug, he must have stolen it in the lake. That’s why he attacked me. 

He wasn’t actually trying to drown me. He must have been distracting me for long enough to stop me from realising he had taken it. I don't think I've ever felt more angry in my life than I do now.

But Monty doesn’t answer the door. There stands Diego, in his shorts and nothing else. It's almost enough for me to forget about what I was here for in the first place. I already saw him shirtless at the river yesterday but it has the same effect on me. 

Diego beams at me and I feel myself get flustered all over again just like every other time he looks at me. “Hey Winston, you wanna come in? We’re about to see how many marshmallows Scott can fit in his mouth.”

His smile almost compels me to say yes and join them, it's hard to say no when he’s looking at me like that. And in those shorts too but I have to stay on task. Horny Winston is put on hold for now. 

“Actually I was looking for Monty...is he here?” I ask moving my head slightly to look past Diego, I could hear laughter erupting from behind them but I couldn’t tell if he was there.

“Monty? Uh no man, sorry he isn’t here. Last I saw him was in the showers though so you might wanna check there.” Diego tells me, eyebrows creasing and he’s probably wondering why the hell I’d want to see Monty after he tried drowning me earlier today. 

I thank him then leave before he can ask anything. I want to confront Monty on his own, it’s obvious he like the attention and wants to put on a show in front of the others so maybe he will be more willing to cooperate. Or maybe I’m just an idiot. 

The conch shell finally blows, which means it’s time for the campfire but I’m not giving up until I find Monty. I use the faint glow of the lanterns to see in the dark as I make my way across the grass fields to the bathrooms. I don’t know why they put the bathrooms so far away from the cabins. It's like they want us to get murdered in the middle of the night out here in the darkness. 

The door slams shut as I enter the steamy room, just like I had earlier Monty must have been running all the showers at once too. That thought would have made me smile if it weren’t for the reason why I’m here in the first place. 

It’s eerily quiet in here and the flickering bright likes are hurting my eyes. I feel like I’m in a scene of the horror movie and I’m the idiot who goes off on their own to be the first one killed, the one that everyone screams at the screen to get out of there. Monty would play a perfect killer. 

I slowly walk past the row of showers to the change room and that’s when I see him. His back is to me. I was nervous before to confront him but I’m even more so now as the heat of the room makes me sweat. 

“Charlie I said not no-” He starts to say with his back still to me but when he turns around and sees me he freezes mid sentence. I gulp as I realise he's just in a towel and I can't look away. “Look a little longer why don’t you?”

“Where is it?” I demand, getting straight to the point as I ignore the effect he's having on me down there. Diego gives me butterflies but Monty has a completely different effect on me. I hate how weak I sound around him but the conversation I had replaying over and over again in my mind had vanished the second I saw him. 

“The fuck are you talkin’ about?” He frowns and that just frustrates me even more that he’s pretending he has no idea what I’m talking about. It’s infuriating how he thinks he can just fuck around with people like this and get away with it every time. 

“You know what.” I tell him and he raises an eyebrow like he’s finding my anger amusing. I roll my eyes in response, sick of his stupid mind games but I force myself to remind him. “My necklace, the river? I know you took it.”

“Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about that?” He scoffs, the towel sliding dangerously further down his hips as he sits back on the bench. 

“Just give it back.” I tell him but he doesn't even seem to be listening to me at this point, he leans across to grab his shorts next to him on the bench. He searches the pockets like he’s looking for something then pulls out a lighter and a box of cigarettes. 

“Or what?” He repeats, the grin on his face growing and that’s when I know he isn’t going to give up the act, he is loving every second of this. He lazily shoves the cigarette between his lips and starts to light it. 

“Fuck you then. Alex was right.” I say shaking my head and his grin falters for a second like he wasn’t done tormenting me yet but I’m not going to give him the chance to get to me anymore. He won’t give it to me that’s for sure so I’ll just have to take matters into my own hands. 

When I get back to the campfire everyone else is already sitting around the fire listening to Alex’s dad- Leader Standall explain the nightly activity. Alex waves me over and I manage to slip into the spot on the edge of the log next to him without drawing too much attention to myself.

Instead of listening to whatever is going on my mind is elsewhere, I start to worry that maybe I was wrong and Monty didn’t take it but I can’t have possibly lost it. I’ve had it for three years and never once even accidentally misplaced it so it has to be him. 

In the corner of my eye I see someone waving and look over to see Zach grinning at Alex but in return he just rolls his eyes. I still don’t understand why Alex is so cold with Zach, the poor guy seems to be doing everything to get his attention just to be shut down every single time.

The night goes on and there’s no sign of Monty. Charlie asks to go to the bathroom and leaves at one point. He doesn’t come back so it’s not hard to imagine what’s going on there again.

\---

The next morning I make sure I spend extra time in the shower, gritting my teeth through the icy cold water as I wait for the rest of the guys to leave. When I get back to the room shivering, Alex is waiting for me.

I tell him to go on without me to breakfast and I’ll meet him there, I have something else to do first. Once he leaves I peek through the window as I see the last of the boys leave from the cabin across from mine. 

Bryce is hollering and howling like an absolute moron trying to get as much attention as he can as he bounds down the stairs with Monty on his back. Monty looks like he’s dry humping him right out in the open, could the guy be any more obvious. 

Jesus, for someone who looked so terrified to be caught with Charlie a few nights ago he surely isn’t afraid of making a scene now. None of his friends seem to take it that way though all except Charlie who trails behind them trying to keep up. 

He looks like a lost lovesick puppy following Monty around everywhere. It’s obvious that Monty is just using him for whatever is going on between them while Charlie has fallen hard. I’ve been there before. 

I wait a few minutes before the coast is clear and sneak over to their cabin, cringing as the stairs creak under my shoes even though there’s nobody around. When I push open the door my mouth drops open at the sight in front of me. 

We’ve been at this camp less than a week and the cabin looks like a bomb has hit it, there’s clothes everywhere and empty packets of chips littered across the floor. It looks like a dump. 

My nose scrunches up in disgust and I have to stop myself from gagging as I almost step on a dirty pair of boxes on the ground. I accidentally stumble over a pair of shoes to make sure I avoid them. I worry for a second that they’ll realise someone has been in here but it’s already messy enough in here that they couldn’t possibly notice, it looks like a racoon broke in here and ransacked the room. 

I only just got here and I already feel like giving up, it's going to be like finding a needle in a haystack. That is until I spot a pile of flannels peeking out from underneath one of the beds. 

Well that was easier than I thought. That has to be his bed, flannels are all I’ve seen him wear this entire time, it’s like he owns nothing else. I do admit they suit him though, especially when it's tied around his waist and all he has on is- no. I seriously can’t be fantasising about the guy right now of all times. 

I quickly check out the window to make sure no one is coming back but nobody seems to be out there, hopefully breakfast is good enough to make them go back for seconds. I need as much time as I can get looking through this absolute shit show of a room. 

Shoving aside the flannels with my shoe, I kneel on the floor and reach under the bed and after a few seconds of blindly reaching around I pull out a half empty duffel bag. 

The bag has the same fruity and floral scent as his and if that isn't enough of a give away, ‘Montgomery de la Cruz’ is scrawled in faded marker across the handle. 

Looking through someone else’s belongings is the last thing I want to be doing but he has given me no other choice. Nothing is more important to me than that necklace is and I can’t feel too guilty when the guy literally tried to drown me yesterday. 

There’s not much in the bag. Another full packet of cigarettes and a lighter, random toiletries- a toothbrush (which can’t be hygienic lying around in dirty clothes), a few pairs of socks and boxers. 

Nothing out of the ordinary- and no sign of my necklace so far. I doubt he’s even hidden it in here. It could be anywhere. He might have it on him right now so it’s possible I’m searching through this room like an idiot for nothing.

For a nine week summer camp he really didn’t bring much, I almost give up until something catches my eye. I pull out a crumpled piece of paper and flatten it out to reveal a photograph. 

It’s of a boy and a girl. He looks no older than seven or eight in the photo but I know it’s Monty. He’s smiling in the photo and for once it’s not that malicious smirk that never leaves his face, he actually looks happy. He has a nice smile, it's soft and warm and I even find myself smiling back at it. 

The girl looks a few years younger but she has the same smile as him so I’m guessing that’s his sister. I know I’m wasting time looking at a photo but I can’t pull myself away. The boy in the photo almost looks like a different person, like Monty from a different lifetime as if the facade he puts up now had destroyed whoever that little boy was over time. 

The only thing that hasn’t changed is that look in his eyes. Even when he looks happy there’s something off like he’s detached himself, scared to feel real emotions. Just staring into his eyes in the photo sends a chill down my spine. 

I’m probably just over analyzing it but I’m good with reading people’s emotions. It’s a pretty useless talent considering I go out of my way to be alone most of the time but it has its perks. 

I feel sadness wash over me from just looking at him. It’s hard trying to imagine what must have happened to someone to turn them into a guy like Monty. His dad is in prison after all so there must be more to the story. 

Alarm bells go off in my head every time I think of him and I know avoiding him is the safest option but I can’t help that part of my mind that’s so interesting in finding out more about it. As much as I want to deny it I can’t ignore the strange pull I feel towards him ever since I laid eyes on him. It makes me uncomfortable and it scares me. 

I fold the photo back into the bag and that's when I notice an envelope, open and containing a thick stack of money. Bryce is written in bold black letters on the it and I wonder if that’s who Monty gave it to or who he’s giving it to. Bryce is rich, I don’t get why he would need money and if Monty’s dad is in the mafia so wouldn’t he be too? 

I place it back where I found it but when I do my hand brushes against something cold. My hand grips around the cool metal and I freeze when I pull it out. It’s a gun, with a trembling hand and I drop it back into the bag instantly in fear. Why would Monty have a gun? Every time I think that guy couldn’t possibly get scarier he does. 

My hearts thumping in my chest as I shove his clothes back on top of it to cover the gun before pushing it back under the bed to where I found it. The smart thing to do would be to go straight to the camp leaders but how would I explain how I found it in the first place?

I shouldn’t have come here, it was a mistake and I know Monty is trouble but I wasn’t expecting to find a fucking gun. 

I need to get out of here. I feel shaky and light headed as I stand up, stumbling towards the door to get out as fast as possible but then I hear it. Voices. Someone is coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter let me know what you thought :)


	5. High Ropes

This entire situation is ridiclous but I don’t have time to contemplate all of my stupid life decisions right now, which is pretty much every single decision I’ve made so far in my painfully long sixteen years of life.

I panic looking around the room for somewhere to hide, spinning around on the spot like suddenly a perfect hiding place will appear out of nowhere. It’s broad daylight and the room is so small that no matter where I go whoever it is will find me. I’m trapped. Why the hell did I think it would be smart to come here in the first place. Nice going Winston. Only I could get myself into something like this only after three days at this camp. 

How am I meant to explain myself if they find me? Tell them I got lost and somehow ended right in the middle of their cabin with the door shut? I probably should have thought of an excuse in case this happened but my mind has been a complete mess ever since my necklace went missing- or was stolen. 

That was the only thing keeping me together after being sent to this prison. I’m not religious or spiritual even so sure it’s stupid and maybe it makes me sound crazy but just it’s presence around my neck and being able to touch it calmed me down instantly. It was like a part of Braedon will always be with me no matter where I go but now it’s gone. 

The only place decent enough to hide is under the bed so I get on the floor and crawl underneath it, shuffling back as far as I can until my back touches the wall. This is humiliating. I slide Monty’s bag in front of me and curl up as tightly as I can, hoping that whoever comes won’t be able to see me. 

This reminds me of the times I used to hide under my bed whenever my parents would have guests over and force me to speak to them for hours on end as they bragged on about their boring business that were thriving and better than ever, spending the whole night tearing each other down with fake smiles and clinks of disgustingly expensive alcohol. 

What kid wants to hear about the stock market and the state of the economy? The maid would have to drag me out by my leg just so they wouldn't fire her for not being able to force me to go to those stupid dinners. Except I’m not eight years old now and hopefully no one is going to drag me out from under here. 

“Can’t we at least talk about it?” Someone pleads from outside of the cabin, the voices becoming louder the closer they get and my eyes widen in fear. My heart thuds in my chest as the footsteps become louder. I hear the door swing open and the floorboards creak under their weight. I silently pray that they don’t find me, that would just be the icing on the cake of this awful day. 

“Fuck Charlie, you can’t talk about that kind of shit here alright? Drop it.” The second person argues, wanting to end their conversation before it has even begun and there’s no mistaking the aggressive edge to the voice that belongs to Monty. Of course it has to be him out of everyone. Why couldn’t it have been Zach or hell I’d even take another reunion with Bryce. 

“What about later then? Nobody saw us last time.” Charlie reassures him, his voice almost a whisper and I feel uncomfortable that I’m intruding on this conversation but it’s not like I have a choice. I can’t go anywhere when I’m hiding under a bed less than a metre away from the two. 

“Man if you’re so fucking desperate go give that Walton kid a blowie he’s been desperate to suck Diego off the minute he got here.” Monty snickers confirming my suspicions over the night I caught them together and I could just imagine the smug look on that asshole's face. 

Then it hits me and I freeze when I realise he is talking about me. I have to stop myself from scoffing at him purposely messing up my name but my face grows hot as the embarrassment settles in. Is my crush on Diego that obvious? Great, if Monty has noticed then Diego has bound to have realised too. Maybe I should never get out from under here. Just rot away along with the dust and cobwebs under here, I’m sure nobody will even realise I’m gone. 

“Winston?- what no I don’t mean it like that. I just want to...to talk. How about tonight?” Charlie pleads, the desperation in his voice evident and I feel like getting up from where I’m hiding and telling the poor guy it’s not worth it. There’s plenty of guys out there, chasing after someone like Monty isn’t worth it. But I don’t of course. 

Two tattered muddy sneakers stop by the end of the bed right next to where I’m hiding and my breath gets caught in my throat. I put a hand over my mouth so he doesn’t hear me almost choke on my own god damn breath, my heart’s beating so fast I feel like it’s going to explode. Monty drops to his knees and reaches under the bed for his bag so I push it forward carefully so he doesn’t accidentally grab me instead. 

I can already picture what would happen if he caught me. Monty running around and telling everyone that he caught the residential camp gay boy perving on him from under his bed. I almost let out a sigh of relief as his hand latches around the handle and he pulls back the bag. 

Monty unzips his bag and then the feeling of dread creeps back into the pit of my stomach as I remember my discovery from earlier. The gun. I wrap my arms tighter around my knees to calm myself down as I nervously watch him. 

Surely he isn’t going to pull out the gun right here in front of Charlie. But then he just fumbles around in his jean pocket before he drops a box of cigarette’s back into the bag and shoves it under the bed again. Right into my face. I hold back a cough as it sends a wave of dust into my mouth that I stupidly left hanging open. 

“Can’t. We’re having drinks with the boys in the woods, remember? Just forget it and leave me alone.” Monty scoffs, finally answering Charlie and the floorboards creak again before the door opens then slams shut. Drinks in the woods? I could surely use a drink after this, especially after almost drowning. Once again thanks to Monty. 

Charlie sighs then follows him back out seconds later and I’m left alone once again, holding my breath because I’m still too scared to move in case they come back. Once I know they are gone for good I slowly crawl back out covered in dust and god knows what else was underneath the bed. I’m going to need to shower at least twice after that now. 

I look out the window as I dust myself off and just make out everyone gathering around the benches by the lake meaning breakfast is officially over so I take my chance to leave before someone else comes back. If someone asks I’ll just say I felt sick and was throwing up in the bathroom. 

Swallowed some dirty water in the river yesterday that messed with my stomach. I’m sure no one will care enough for details on that. Maybe I’ll be able to use that to get out of whatever today’s activity is. 

I’m still shaken up after finding a fucking gun in Monty’s bag so sue me for not feeling up to doing anything, not that I’m ever up for doing anything remotely physical in the first place. Well besides a certain few activities that wouldn’t be summer camp appropriate. 

Everyone seems to be already in their own friend groups and I spot Alex sitting on the grass talking to Jessica. I must have just missed the activity announcement but so far I haven’t been called out on missing breakfast yet so guess I won’t have to worry about using my cover story. That’s one less thing to worry about. 

After the events of this morning I’ve lost my appetite so at least I won’t have to worry about starving. I make my way over to Alex but before I get there someone stops me, with a firm grip on my shoulder. I panic, tensing up as I worry that someone spotted me earlier and is going to call me out for going into the other cabin this morning but I relax as soon as I realise it’s Diego. 

“Yo Winston, want to join us?” Diego asks grinning at me and I’m about to say yes until I see who’s standing next to him. Monty’s arms are folded as he leans back against the tree behind him and smirks at me as he waits for me to answer. I just know that asshole wants me to say yes so he can spend the entire day tormenting me. 

Partnering up with Diego again would be great but I can’t stand being Monty anymore. Last time he tried to drown me, I don’t even want to think about what he has planned for me today. “Erm...sorry already said yes to Alex.” I lie, avoiding looking him in the eyes and hurry off before he can say anything else. 

I really like Diego, more than I’d like to admit since I barely know the guy but if him and Monty are going to be close now I don’t think it’s worth it anymore. At least Alex seems to be happy to see me and Jessica gives me a smile before getting up and going over to partner up with one of the girls who calls her over. 

Alex looks happier than usual and I find out it’s because he gets to sit this activity out because of his leg. He asks if I want to keep him company and I don’t hesitate saying yes once I find out the activity is a high ropes challenge. 

“Hey I missed you at breakfast, you didn’t come are you alright?” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow and it makes me smile knowing that he missed me while I was gone. “I would have saved you something but I didn’t think you would want to eat cereal out of my pocket.” 

“Wasn’t feeling hungry, although now that you mention it I do have the sudden craving for cereal served fresh out of a pocket.” I grin and we both laugh while cringing over my poor attempt at making a joke. Talking to Alex will at least help me distract myself from the situation with Monty. There’s nothing else I can do for now. 

“Alex, you need someone to sit on the sidelines with you?” Zach asks jogging up to us, a big smile on his face as he looks at him. Alex curses under his breath quietly besides me and I already feel bad for Zach. Once again he’s going to get his heart crushed. Couldn’t Alex give the poor guy some slack?

“Sorry. Already with Winston.” Alex says shortly, already turning his back to Zach again who’s smile falls and shoulders slump in disappointment just like every other time Alex has rejected him. At this point it’s been every time I’ve ever seen them talk. It’s like groundhog day with these two. 

“We could sit out as a group?” I offer hoping to make the situation any less awkward but then cringe at how stupid that idea was as I replay what I had said in my head. I just don’t want to be in Zach’s bad books all because Alex is being a dick and using me as an excuse to avoid hanging out with him. 

“Oh don’t worry- it’s fine I’ll just go join Charlie.” Zach stammers, shifting awkwardly on the spot before giving me a grateful smile but it doesn’t meet his eyes. 

We watch as he slowly catches up to Charlie who is hanging around Monty who keeps shaking him off as he’s absorbed in the conversation he’s having with Diego. Charlie looks relieved to see Zach approaching him and Monty doesn’t even give him a second glance as he leaves his side. 

“Tough love. What did Zach ever do to you?” I ask, laughing awkwardly as we get up after the camp leaders tell us to follow them down the trail to the high ropes.

“He’s friends with Bryce and Monty for starters, which means he’s just as bad as the rest of them.” Alex explains, throwing a dirty look in the direction of Monty and he rolls his eyes. I get what he means, at school if someone hangs out with the jocks they're automatically as shitty as the rest of them but Zach doesn’t seem anything like Bryce or Monty. 

“I think he likes you.” I say, stating the obvious to Alex who’s face scrunches up in confusion, like I had just spoken a foreign language and he doesn’t understand a single word I had just said. 

“What?” He asks, frowning at me and this time I roll my eyes. He seriously can’t be that oblivious. I thought he said his leg was damaged, not his brain. 

“Zach.” I explain nodding my head off into the direction where Zach was walking with Charlie, both of them looking seemingly happier than before talking to each other than pinning over Alex and Monty. 

“Yeah right. Bryce has probably placed a bet with him or something- like Zach would actually go for a sad skinny kid like me.” He tells me and I awkwardly lick my lips as I try to think of something to argue with that but I don’t. Maybe he’s right, no offence to Alex but Zach’s a gorgeous guy and well Alex is Alex. He kind of looks like he’s always sucking on a sour candy. 

Everyone is getting suited up in their gear and harnesses for the high ropes so Alex and I just sit ourselves down on the log across from the obstacle course so we can at least pretend to be watching what’s going on. 

Watching everyone else climb up the dangerously high poles only attached to a flimsy rope makes my stomach flip and I’m extremely glad that I decided to sit this one out thanks to Alex and his leg. Did I ever mention that besides from not being able to swim I am also deadly afraid of heights?

Diego and Monty are the first to get to the top of the course, giving me a perfect view of the two of them. Diego laughs as he holds onto the rope with Monty swinging around upside down on it like an absolute idiot. But of course his flannel is tied around his waist again and this time he’s in a tight black singlet so I can’t tear my eyes away. 

Alex is telling me about something so I make sure to nod every few seconds so he thinks I’m listening and not completely lost in the view in front of us. 

It’s hot so Monty has already got beads of sweat rolling down his arms, it’s a curse and a blessing that we decided to sit right in front of him. I tell myself that I’m only watching him because the necklace must be on him and I’m just waiting for it to fall out of his pocket. It’s definitely not the fact that he’s built like one of those greek god’s. 

The muscles in his arms ripple as he hauls himself over one of the ropes and I feel the blood rush to my crotch and my shorts tighten as I imagine his hands around something of mine instead. Oh fuck, not again. I hunch forward on the log and force myself to look away from Monty, keeping my focus on Alex and him complaining about whatever he is going on about to distract myself. Slowly it begins to work. 

We’ve only been here for less than an hour and Leader Standall has already had to tell Monty off three times for acting recklessly. He can’t help himself, what an attention whore and I’m not helping at all by spending the entire time staring at him like that. I could already imagine Alex catching me staring at him. Monty would once again be ruining one of the few friendships I have here without even doing anything. 

Monty finally pulls himself back onto the wooden planks so he doesn’t get sent off the course for his last warning. Just like he was with Bryce, Monty is clinging onto Diego’s back as he swings him around. I roll my eyes, the guy calls me out for discreetly fawning over Diego when he can’t even keep his hands off of half the guys at the camp. 

It was impossible to ignore him at this point. Everyone else was focusing on their partners or the course itself but Monty was flipping around and calling out while beating his chest like an animal as Diego laughs at him. I really don’t get how Diego can stand him. 

“God I can’t stand him.” Alex scoffs, rolling his eyes like he had just read my mind and I look to see he’s also staring at Monty. But not in the same heart eyes way that I just was. Instead of shamefully admiring Monty’s physique like me Alex looks like he wants to strangle him. 

“I can tell. History there?” I ask, prying my eyes off of Monty and looking at Alex who slouches over and sighs like he doesn’t even know where to begin. I remember Alex telling me a few nights ago that he went to high school with Monty at some point. Maybe if I can get Alex to tell me more about Monty I’ll finally understand what his deal is. 

“You could say that.” Alex chuckles dryly and nudges his shoe into the soil further as he contemplates where to start. “Believe it or not there was a time I called that asshole my best friend.” 

“You and Monty?” I repeat with a nervous laugh, trying and failing to imagine the two of them ever being friends. I wouldn’t want to be trapped in a room with the two of them alone. “How did that even like-?”

“We met in the school band. Before he became one of the jocks neither of us really had any friends... so we just clicked somehow.” Alex shrugs with the ghost of a smile on his lips, which makes me feel like maybe all his memories with Monty weren’t so horrible. That he wasn’t a complete monster that he’s appeared to be so far.

He tells me that Monty played the saxophone until his dad found out he was part of the band and he pulled him out. That's when he joined the football team and they grew apart. 

For a second all my mind could focus on was trying to imagine Monty in a school band, blowing on that saxophone and of course my mind went to other places. Luckily Alex didn’t comment on my cheeks flushing red or maybe he didn’t even notice. It was hot out here anyways in the summer heat. Both of us were already sweating and we weren’t even participating in the activity. 

I feel bad that Monty’s father had that much control of him, forcing him to do things he didn’t want to. I’ve been lucky so far that my parents haven’t given a shit about what I do, they complain from time to time that I should be involved more in school life but after I joined yearbook they dropped it. 

It makes it even harder trying to understand why Monty idolises his dad and once again I’m sucked back into caring about the guy who is making my life here hell. But I need to stop worrying about whatever is going on with him, that's not my problem. Part of me always latches onto broken people, feeling a need to help them and I guess maybe I see something in Monty worth saving but I don’t understand what. 

He’s just a typical asshole that I should be afraid of, that I told myself I would avoid. Staying as far away from him as possible is the safest option. He’s not Braedon. I can’t fix him. I don’t even know him. 

\----- 

Monty knows what he’s doing. An entire week has passed and still no trace of my necklace but he has been doing everything to get under my skin and it’s working. 

Winking at me when nobody else was looking with that smug look on his face like he knows what he’s doing to me.

Purposely shoving me out of the way every time he walks past me or trying to trip me on the way out of the showers.

Stealing food off of my plate when his was already overflowing with his own pile of food. 

This morning he stared at me the entire time as he basically deepthroated a banana right in the middle of the cafeteria. Charlie’s face was just as red as mine but his other friends of course just laughed at him like he was messing around as usual but they didn’t see the way he was looking at me. 

He didn’t break eye contact with me once. It took everything in me not to get a hard on right then and there. It’s pathetic at this point how easily someone I’m supposed to hate gets to me that way. 

I can’t get rid of him and a shameful part of me is enjoying the attention, which makes everything even worse. How am I meant to ignore the guy when he’s making me horny over the most ridiculous things? 

I think Diego must think I’m avoiding him now thanks to Monty. He’s finally stopped asking to be partners with me so he probably thinks I hate him now. Monty has ruined my once chance of getting laid this summer. Well that is if Diego was even interested in me like that in the first place. Guess I’ll never get to know anyways now. 

But I refuse to let him get to me. He’s not going to win even though I still don’t really know what my plan is. All I want is for him to give me my necklace back and leave me alone. Well at least that’s what I’m telling myself. So far it's proved to work out the opposite of what I want to happen. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought it would be. If only my dick didn’t have a mind of its own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's going to get a lot angstier and darker from here but that also means a lot more closer wonty moments :) let me know what you thought


	6. Blood On My Hands

It's late night and right on cue my bladder has betrayed me. I’ve been a lot thirstier than usual (I wonder why), which means it’s another walk through the creepy woods to the bathroom. My least favourite part of the day. Would it kill them to install bathrooms closer to the cabins? I’d even call my parents to pay for them if it meant we could. 

Charlie and Justin (eventually along with Clay who gave in to supervise Justin) went out to join Bryce and his friends at some secret meet up where they all go to get drunk in the forest after lights out. Not my kind of thing and I wasn’t going to spend any more time around Monty than I have to already since I doubt he would miss something like that or the opportunity to get under my skin. 

Using the shitty little flashlight on my phone I make my way to the bathrooms, flinching everytime a stick snaps beneath my shoes. It was embarrassing how scared I am but anything or anyone could be out there for all I know. A thought that crosses my mind every time I have to trek it through these treacherous fields. 

The only sound is coming from the quiet howl from the winds and the leaves crunching beneath my sneakers until I hear a noise. It is so quiet at first that I almost miss it. It sounds like a cry or a whimper, maybe from an animal. Would be just my luck to run into a bear or a coyote in the middle of the woods with nobody else in sight. 

There it was again but louder this time. The noise was coming from further into the forest. Just the place I was trying to avoid. Perfect. Something was out there- or someone. And I’m the poor fool that is stuck out here alone with them. How do I always manage to get myself in the worst situations? 

I could turn back to the cabins now and just pretend nothing is out there or just leg it to the bathrooms in case I go before I even get there. Both sound like much smarter options than the one I was about to choose. Once again ignoring the alarm bells going off in my head and I do exactly what horror movies show you what not to do. 

Holding my breath I cautiously follow the noise until I stop dead in my tracks when I see it- or them. The sight in front of me makes my stomach lurch and I was glad I only had a salad for dinner today instead of the meat pie otherwise I doubt it would have stayed down for much longer. 

Though it’s dark with the dim light of my flashlight I can make out a body amongst the leaves of the forest floor. There is no mistaking that plaid flannel. Monty. 

“H-help me.” Monty cries as he winces in pain, letting out shallow breaths. I stumble towards him as fast as I can, falling to my knees and pulling off my jacket to try and stop some of the bleeding as I attempt to process what’s happening. 

“Shit, erm okay okay- you need to press this down alright? I’ll g-get you help okay? Just stay here.” I stutter as my hands tremble against the makeshift tourniquet as it becomes soaked with blood. It was an absolute mess. 

“Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” Monty pleads and I nod to reassure him that I won’t, placing my hand on top of his. I have no idea what to do. I can’t just leave him like this but if I don’t get help he’s going to bleed to death. 

There was blood. Lots and lots of blood. I had no idea where the blood was coming from but it was everywhere. I can’t tell what happened- if he had somehow hurt himself or even been attacked by some wild animal out here in the woods. But slowly everything began to spin. Seeing blood always made me feel faint so it isn’t a surprise when I have to steady myself as my head becomes dizzy. I try to focus on helping Monty but I can’t, everything starts to fade out. 

Darkness engulfs me until suddenly I wasn’t in the woods anymore but in the middle of the road and it isn’t Monty clinging onto me. It is Braedon. I am back to the night I lost him. To the very place he died in my arms. 

Sirens are ringing in the distance. I see the flashes of blue and red but it’s too far away. It’s too late. My hand rests on his face as I watch the light leave his eyes for the second time. Reliving the memory that has continued to haunt me to this day. But it doesn’t feel like a memory. I’m really here. I swear I am. This is real. But it can’t be. Right? 

“Braedon please come back to me.” I plead, my voice shaking between sobs as I try to remember how to breathe. His face starts to slip from my vision as it becomes clouded with tears that I try to wipe away but the blood on my hands makes even more of a mess, streaking my face with red. 

“Who the fuck is Braedon?” Monty asks sitting up like he wasn’t just seconds away from death and crying in agony, bringing me back to reality. I blink twice in confusion as I try to make sense of what just happened. 

I look back down at my hands, still covered in blood and dirt then back up to his face which is no longer twisting in pain but staring at me like I’m insane. We aren’t in the middle of the road. We are back in the woods. And it’s not Braedon’s face that my hand is resting against, it’s Monty. And he isn’t dying. Not like Braedon did. 

I jump back up against the forest floor, scrambling to my feet as Monty gets up with me, taking a step forward as I go backwards. “Dude you should have seen your face.” He laughs with a wicked grin but it slowly fades and he actually starts to look worried for me. “Shit, you don’t look so good.”

I don’t feel so good either thanks to him and I turn and empty my guts onto the forest floor behind me as I try to steady myself against a tree that I manage to grab on to. All I know is I need to get out of here. And I need to get away from him. It’s dark and I stumble blindly, my eyes stinging from my tears and my throat burning. 

“Winston! Come on chill man it was just a prank.” Monty calls out but I don’t stop to listen to him. I don’t know where I am going but as far away from him as possible is all I want. 

“Where the fuck are you going?” He yells after me again but I still don’t answer. I don’t even think I can. My throat feels raw and my chest feels tight. I still feel like I can’t breath and each step I take makes everything hurt even more. I collapse to my knees and I feel my body shake as the tears don’t stop streaming down my face. I give up trying to wipe them away and wrap my arms around myself.

My eyes are shut tight and I flinch as I feel someone hauling me to my feet but I don’t open them. It must be Monty and all I want to do is scream at him and shove him off but I don’t have the energy so I allow him to guide me to wherever he’s taking me.

One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Everything is becoming a blur and I don’t know if Monty is saying it or if it’s my brain going into survival mode but I keep replaying that in my mind over and over again until we’ve made it to the bathroom. 

I’m sitting on the floor. It’s cold and so is the water. We are in the showers but I don’t even remember coming here or even turning the water on. All I know is it keeps getting harder and harder to breath. It’s like the oxygen refuses to go into my lungs, like something is blocking it. “I can’t- I can’t breathe.” I manage to stutter but my voice is barely louder than a whisper. 

The shower walls feel like they are closing in on me. I’m trapped. I’m never going to get out of here. What a joke. I’m going to die on the bathroom floor covered in fake blood and dirt at this stupid summer camp. Would my parents even care? Have they ever really cared?

Monty takes my face in his hands and is trying to tell me something but I can’t hear him. It’s like my brain has affected all my senses abilities after being in shock. Any other day I would have turned beet red being this close to him and pinched myself in case I was dreaming about being in the showers with him out of all places like this but not now. 

“Hey, I’m here okay. Focus on me.” He tells me, his eyes wide with concern and I almost scoff in his face. Focusing on him is the last thing I wanted to do when he’s the reason this is happening in the first place. But I do as I’m told as he tries to get me to calm down and focus on what he’s saying. 

In and out. In and out. In and out. I don’t know how long it takes or how he did it but it worked. The tightness in my chest starts to ease off and I can finally feel the oxygen flowing back into my lungs. But I still feel numb like after reliving the most traumatic experience of my life made my brain switch something off to protect myself. 

On the cold tiles I sit there like a child as Monty rinses the fake blood off me and himself in the process. He runs a hand through my wet hair and I close my eyes and enjoy the soothing feeling along with the water that has finally warmed up running down my face. Subconsciously I reach for my necklace to find nothing but bare skin. Another pang in my gut but I feel too numb to even remember that it was lost. 

Monty is still here, helping me and I start to think maybe he isn’t such a bad person after all. Maybe he didn’t actually steal my necklace and it’s not completely his fault how I reacted to his prank. He couldn’t have known about what happened with Braedon. Until he manages to ruin it. 

“So is Brandon another little twink? You missing his dick or something?” Monty snickers and that’s when something snaps inside me. I shove him off with whatever energy and strength I have left and he lands back on the tiles frowning at me in confusion. 

“What I’m kidding come on Winston.” He calls out but I keep walking and I hear him get up and he follows after me, his footsteps echoing against the wet tiles. “I’m sorry okay? What can I do to make it up to you?”

He grabs my wrist to stop me as I’m halfway out the door. He places his other arm against the door to keep it open, above my head and pinning me against the door. 

I take a deep breath to calm myself down before staring at him right in the eyes. “You can leave me alone. I never want you to speak to me again.” 

I pull back my wrist and push past him going back out into the dark but this time he doesn’t follow after me and I still don’t look back because I’m afraid of what would happen after if I do. 

\---

My lungs are burning and my throats dry after we had to play a game of capture the flag, reminding me of how unfit I really am. I head back to the cabins to get my water bottle which I stupidly forgot. I never would have pushed myself to actually participate in these painful activities but I forced myself to distract myself from the horrors from that night. 

I’m exhausted after getting no sleep for the past few nights and my shirts stuck to me with sweat after having to run around the entire day. I feel disgusting and want nothing more than to just peel it off and have a nice cold shower. 

I search my shelf compartment but it isn’t there so I climb up the ladder and find it lodged between my pillow and the wall on my bed. Just as I’m about to go something catches my eye.

My heart stops for a second and I do a double take as I look at my necklace that lays there on my pillow. I grip onto the ladder tighter to steady myself as I stare at it in shock. I climb onto my bed and pick up my necklace to find that underneath it is a scrunched up piece of paper and I grimace as I pick it up. It’s slightly wet and I don’t know if I want to know why as I unfold it. 

Sorry is written in black pen. There is something familiar about the handwriting and that’s when I remember. It is written in the same messy scrawl in bold black letters that was written on Monty’s bag. 

Monty. He must have felt bad after last night and decided to give it back to me. How kind of him to finally give it back after all the shit he’s put me through. I want to be angry at him but I don’t have it in me. I’m not going to start something again when he hasn’t been a problem for the last few days. 

Monty has listened to me. He actually listened to me. Not a single snide comment or shove came my way from him. In fact I haven’t even caught him staring at me like he used to.

I thought I would feel safer or at least have less to worry about but I don’t. In fact I feel weirdly empty like I miss those moments as much as I used to think I hated them. It's like I have gotten used to looking over my shoulder to find him staring at me or going out of his way to bump into me in the showers. Of course I couldn’t just make it easy for myself. 

I’ve got my necklace back now, which means I have nothing to do with him anymore. He has nothing against me and I have nothing against him besides the memories from that night that I can’t bring myself to think about or I know I’ll spiral out of control but I can’t help wanting to see him. This is going to be a problem.

\-----

The entire morning everyone has seemed distant but I can’t work out why and the same energy had carried along to the cafeteria. Nobody was messing around, just picking at the food in silence. It’s weird and unsettling. 

Just like this morning Monty isn’t here. He wasn’t at the showers or his cabin either when I swung by them on the way here. So I was sure he would be at the cafeteria throwing food at his friends like usual or heaping so much food on his plate that it still makes me question how he has the body that he does but he isn’t. 

I can’t just go up to his friends table and ask where he is but I manage to spot Charlie by the food table and make my way over to him. “Hey Charlie have you seen Monty?” 

“Monty? He’s down by the lake but I wouldn’t bother him now if I was you. Why do you need him anyways? I didn’t know you guys were friends.” Charlie says frowning and I swear I can hear a hint of jealousy in his voice but I ignore it. I still don’t know what’s going on with him and Monty but I do not want to get between it. I’ve already had enough on my mind for the past few days. 

“We aren't, he just took something of mine and I need it back. But um..why shouldn’t I bother him?” I ask trying to sound as casual as possible so he doesn’t get suspicious- not that there is a reason he needs to be. I just know Charlie likes Monty and I would rather prefer to not have him seeing me as competition. I don’t need another enemy in this already dreadful place. 

Charlie’s face relaxes and he sighs before continuing. “Today’s the second anniversary of Jeff’s death. Monty and him were pretty close before the erm accident.” He looks away from me nervously like he was telling me something he shouldn’t be. 

“Jeff?” I repeat and the name sounds familiar. I think it was the same name that Monty had brought up on the first day of camp and everyone started acting weird. Now I understood what was the reason behind the strange vibe going on today.

But it makes me think. How the hell is this camp still running if a kid died in it? And why in the world would my parents send me here? Surely there would have to be some sort of warning when parents sign their kids up they have to mention a kid died here. 

“The boy who drowned in the lake? It’s the reason it’s out of bounds now since two years ago a couple of the guys got drunk late at night by the lake after hours and apparently Jeff slipped and hit his head then drowned. Monty tried to save him but he didn’t get to him in time, so this day is always a tough one for him to get through.” Charlie tells me and I cast my eyes over to the table to where his other friends sit and for once they aren’t jumping around like animals, they are just sitting and quietly talking between each other. 

I thank Charlie for telling me before he goes to join the rest of his friends. To the lake it is then. The one place the camp has been adamant about us avoiding. I wonder if there is a punishment for being found there. What are they going to do though, send me home? I can’t think of anything I would rather. 

On the way to the lake I start to feel like an idiot. I was the one who told Monty to leave me alone and here I am chasing after him but I felt like I needed to. I could put aside our differences today. Sure Monty has caused nothing but trouble for me but that night he could have just laughed at me and left me there feeling like I was going to die on the forest floor but he didn’t. 

So here I am wandering through the woods thinking over what I’m going to say to him so I’m not just standing there like a spluttering idiot like I usually am around him. But then I get in over my head so I try to focus on the birds and the sound of the leaves crunching under me to stop my mind from sending me  
into overdrive. 

Without the little wooden arrows scattered throughout the woods pinned against the tree’s I surely would have gotten lost within seconds. I’m hopeless when it comes to directions and it’s not like I know the place well. I don’t go wandering the woods in my spare time or anything. 

Still exhausted by the rest of the day I’m panting by the time I get to the lake and I curse under my breath for forgetting my drink bottle once again when I realise how dry my throat is. I bend over and place my hands on my knees to catch my breath and once I finally feel like I’m not going to pass out I take in my surroundings.

And that’s when I see him. Sitting on a rock right by the lake and I can just make out him saying something quietly but I don’t understand what. I take a step back worried that he’s with someone but once I realise he isn’t I let out a sigh of relief. He’s just...talking to himself? 

For once he isn’t in his flannels and tank. His hair is wet and spiking up in different directions like he has just gone for a swim or shower and he has on a baseball Jersey with the word “Atkins” and the number sixteen printed on the back. There’s a half empty bottle of whisky by his side and I wonder if he’s drunk. 

Maybe it isn’t the best idea to confront him right in the middle of the forest with nobody else around especially if he’s been drinking. But it’s too late. A stick snaps beneath me and he quickly looks back at me, wide eyed as if I had caught him doing something he shouldn’t be doing. Maybe he is worried that I was one of the camp leaders not that he has seemed to care about breaking the rules before. 

“The fuck do you want?” Monty snaps looking back at me, frowning but then his face softens for a moment and he sighs when he sees me flinch at the aggressive edge to his voice. 

“I found this.” I tell him, collecting myself before finding my necklace behind my shirt and holding it up for him to see and he instantly looks away. 

“Oh...erm I didn’t steal it.” He tells me, pulling a knee up to his chest as he rests his head on it. He didn't steal it. He could be lying for all I know but for some reason I believe him. He’s given it back to me now what reason would he have to lie about it? It’s not like he would need to worry about me being mad at him. I’m not a threat, we’ve already established that. 

“I know, I believe you. I really don’t know why because you’ve given me no reason to but I do.” I answer honestly and there’s a hint of a smile on his face as he looks back at me and takes in my words. A look of surprise on his face as if nobody had ever told him they believed him before. 

“If you don’t think I stole it then what are you doing here Winston?” Monty asks but he doesn’t sound angry, just sad. It’s strange to hear him sound so vulnerable and soft. 

“I know how it feels to lose someone you love.” I say softly as I move closer and closer until I’m right next to him and I notice his body tense up the closer I get. 

“What?” He asks with a confused laugh as if he heard me wrong but we both know he didn’t. 

“Charlie told me about Jeff.” 

“Jesus of course he did that guy can never keep his fucking mouth shut and I didn’t fucking love him.” He curses, picking up a rock before tossing it into the lake and then sighs again. “I’m sorry.”

Those two words again. I’m sorry. The night when he scared the shit out of me and just then are the only times I’ve ever heard him say that and really mean it. He isn’t being sarcastic or malicious for once. It’s a nice change. Makes him seem more...human like he has actual emotions other than being an asshole all the time. 

“You know loving someone that isn’t a girl doesn’t make you gay right?” I tell him, raising an eyebrow and I can’t help the soft laugh that escapes my lips. 

“I mean yeah whatever.” He mumbles and I don’t miss the faint flush of pink to his cheeks under his freckles. He tosses another stone in the river, frowning after it like he is playing some game and just missed a goal. 

I shift awkwardly from one foot to the other as I rack my brain for something to say. “You sure you should be drinking out in broad daylight?” I mentally cringe the second those words leave my mouth. 

“It’s not for me. I don’t drink.” He shrugs, mumbling the last part like he was embarrassed to tell me but I understood more than he thinks I would. 

“Me either.” I tell him and I finally decide to sit down next to him, preparing for him to get up the second I do but he doesn’t. We sit in silence but it isn’t awkward like you’d think...it was kind of nice. Peaceful. 

“How come you went fucking mental over that thing?” He asks breaking the silence and points at my necklace and my hand automatically goes up to touch it, smiling at the familiarity of it finally being back where it should be. 

“It belonged to my friend Braedon, it’s the only thing I have left of him.” I tell him, trying to sound as confident as I can but the pain in my voice is evident just like it always is whenever I talk about him. 

He nods and bites his lip. “This was Jeff’s. I erm...I guess I missed him so I kind of broke into his house and stole it.” He tells me looking away like he is ashamed as he rubs the material of the baseball jersey between his fingers.

“It looks good on you.” I say and my eyes widen once I realise what I just said and I feel my cheeks start to burn. I feel my body tense up as I expect him to throw some gay joke my way but instead he shakes his head and laughs. Not the cruel laugh he always does at my expense but an actual natural laugh with his eyes crinkling at the sides and I don’t miss the cute dimples on either sides of his cheeks. 

“You want to go in?” He asks looking at me and it's strange how innocent he looks at this moment. Nothing like the boy who had been making my time at the summer camp a living hell. He looked exactly like the boy in the photo, the boy that I’m sure is still there inside of him hidden behind the tough facade he likes to put on. 

“In the lake?” I ask, raising my eyebrows in confusion considering the last time we were in the water he did try to drown me. He nods and I frown looking at his still wet hair. “Looks like you’ve already gone for a swim though.”

“Where do you think I found that thing.” He says looking at my necklace once again, raising an eyebrow and I feel a flutter in my stomach once I realise what this means. Not only did he not steal it from me he also went out of his way to find it. This Monty was like an entirely different person- or maybe he wasn’t. Maybe this is the real Monty, the part of him he doesn’t want anyone to know about. 

Everything in me is telling me to say no but I don’t stop myself from nodding and I can’t ignore how good it feels to see Monty’s eyes light up at my response. What am I getting myself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sorry it’s taken me a while to update but hope you enjoyed this chapter :) let me know what you thought


	7. Just a Dream

The forest is quiet as everyone else is back at the cafeteria still eating lunch before the next activity commences. The only sound coming from Monty splashing water at me as he tries to convince me (or more so harass me) to come into the lake. I guess I should be glad he’s not trying to drown me this time- well at least not yet. 

“It’s cold.” I shiver, stating the obvious and jump back as my foot touches the icy water of the lake. I try to steady myself after almost slipping on a rock by the banks of the water. In reality the cold water is the least of my problems and Monty already knows that I can’t swim from the disaster last time but I’m not going to remind him.

“Come on don’t be such a pussy.” Monty taunts leaning slightly back into his old ways but then he does something unexpected. He holds his hand out and I frown, waiting for the catch but he rolls his eyes. “Relax I’m not going to jump you this time.” 

“Oh how kind of you.” I say sarcastically but fail to hide my smile as the feeling of excitement grows inside me. This is different to any other time we’ve been around each other, things were finally changing. I can feel it, today is the start of something new. I hesitantly take his hand still not trusting him completely but it’s better than stumbling into the lake like an idiot and embarrassing myself in front of him once again. 

Not to sound cheesy but I feel something when our hands touch, like a spark that sends my body on fire. Sure maybe it’s embarrassing to react like that over just holding hands but I’m not going to stop myself from enjoying this. I think I deserve it after all the shit he’s put me through. 

As we get into the water for a second I catch a mischievous glint in his eyes and the faintest glimpse of a smirk on his face. I prepare myself for the worst. Maybe he’s going to dunk me under like last time. But then it’s gone just as fast and he shakes his head like he decided against something as he lets go of my hand. 

I don’t miss him wiping his hand on his shorts like it will somehow take back the fact that he just held hands with me. Then it settles in. Monty and I just held hands. That’s all I can think about as we float around in the water in silence but silence never lasts long around Monty. 

I’m in the middle of floating on my back when something flies inches away from my face and dunks into the water. I float myself upright just as another object comes soaring past my shoulder and I hear Monty curse under his breath.

My eyes go straight to his hands and he instantly drops the pile of rocks into the water before ducking them behind his back like a child that’s been caught doing something they shouldn’t have. “Are you throwing...rocks at me?”

“No.” He shrugs like he has no idea what I’m talking about but he doesn’t even bother trying to conceal the smug look on his face before he winks and disappears under the surface of the lake. I really don’t understand this guy. 

I watch his shadow beneath the surface, rippling the water above as he swims closer and closer to me and my heartbeat quickens and I hold my breath until he breaks the surface with his face inches away from mine. “Get on.”

He turns around so his back is to me and he pats his shoulder twice as if that’s supposed to mean something before disappearing under the water again. Get on? Oh. He...wants me to get on his back? I’m not religious but I can’t help but do the sign of the cross before I place my hands on Monty’s shoulders under the water and swing my legs around onto them. It will be a miracle if either one of us (especially me) make it out of this lake alive. 

He stands up with me on his shoulders with ease, like my entire weight is nothing to him and I bite my lip to stop myself from making an embarrassing noise as I realise my crotch is right next to the back of his head. I’m not sure where to hold so I grip onto his hair and he curses loudly as I accidentally pull it. I cringe as I mumble a quick apology and decide to hold onto his shoulders next to my legs instead. 

He spins around and I grit my teeth to stop myself from yelling and humiliating myself and grip on tightly so he doesn’t send me flying off his shoulders. I can hear him laugh and find myself laughing along with him and I’m not sure if it’s out of fear or adrenaline. I don’t have a clue as to what either of us are doing but I don’t care. I’ve never felt more free in my life than I do at this moment and I think he feels the same. 

Once he slows down and stops spinning he takes a minute to catch his breath and I take the chance to realise how insane this situation is. I’m here sitting on Monty’s shoulders in the same lake he almost drowned me in again a week ago but this time we are actually having fun. Enjoying each other’s company instead of wanting to murder each other for once. 

Monty slowly takes us through the lake to the otherside getting me close to a tree branch that is just a few inches above my head. For a second I think he’s going to ram me right into it but then he stops and I steady myself as I try to grip onto it and hoist myself off his shoulders. 

Once I’m off him he grabs onto my ankle to help me up and my heart skips a beat at his touch. If I’m swooning over just a touch I can’t even imagine how it would feel to kiss him. Kissing Monty? I really need to stop getting in over my head. Sure he’s being nice now, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t deck me if I tried to kiss him. He’s still the same asshole that’s been making my life a living hell here but I push that thought to the back of my mind for now. 

I’m panting by the time I actually get myself upright and sitting on the branch but I chuck Monty a thumbs up as I try not to show it. I’m not fit, that’s obvious but I don’t want to look even weaker in front of Monty. Not when he’s standing there looking like...that, with his stupid muscles and abs and the fact that they look like they are sparkling in the sunlight because of the water dripping down them- and I’m staring. Stop it Winston. I don’t want to freak him out. “Now what?” 

“Now it’s my turn.” He grins and lifts up his arms like he expects me to have superhuman strength and just pull him up here with ease. I didn’t realise Monty was such a comedian. At least that’s what I hope he is. 

“You're joking right?” I ask, letting out a laugh of disbelief but he just holds up his arms further towards me in response. He’s being serious. This guy really thinks me out of all people will be able to lift up a guy like him. If I wasn’t so terrified I’d be kind of flattered that he has that much faith in me. “Okay but if I fall and kill us both it’s on you.”

“If dying is what gets us out of whatever shit we are supposed to do today then I ain’t gonna complain.” He shrugs before reaching out again and I cautiously wipe the water off my hands onto my soaking wet shorts, which probably makes them even worse before taking his hands. But Monty wanting to get out of the activities makes me think that maybe we aren’t so different after all.

This isn’t going to end well, I think to myself and right as I attempt to pull him up my knee gives out and I fall forward right off the tree branch, taking him down with me and sending us both into the water below. Just as I predicted. 

My eyes are squeezed shut and I refuse to open them as we crash under the water. My life goes flashing before my eyes and my first thought is that I’m dead. I’m dead and Monty’s probably going to leave my body here in this lake for someone to come across and- but my thoughts are cut short when someone grabs my wrists and pulls me up. 

We both come to the surface gasping for air and for a second I think he’s mad for taking him down with me but instead he just laughs at me when I cough and splutter out dirty lake water with a look of disgust on my face. He playfully shoves me back as he shakes his head. 

Monty takes a step forward, squinting at my face for a second before he reaches out and I think he’s going to shove me again but then he just brushes my hair from out of my eyes. I’m too nervous to thank him or say anything for that matter. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to breathe or speak and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, the butterflies in my stomach are going crazy. I feel like I’m going to be sick but like in a good way that I can’t describe. I can’t take my eyes off of him. This is exactly what I wasn’t supposed to do. Fall for Monty. But that’s exactly what I’ve done.

Once he realises what he’s done he immediately retracts, taking a couple of steps away from me before splashing me with water. Right into my face. As if that just took back anything remotely kind that he’s done. I cough the lake water out of my mouth again and curse at him before splashing the water right back at him. We end up in a water fight and I manage to hold my ground against him somehow despite the fact his arms are like three times the size and strength of mine. 

“You want to call it a truce and try again?” He calls out between splashes and he holds his hands up in surrender so I take my chance to get him back in the face and grin victoriously as he rolls his eyes.

“Alright. But try what again?” I ask, brushing the hair out of my face and leaning back into the water to watch him. 

“Get up there again.” He nods towards the tree and my face twists in confusion, surely he can’t be serious. He notices my face and scoffs. “Don’t worry we won’t rely on your little twigs for arms again, wouldn’t want to snap them.”

He nudges past me and my breath hitches as his skin brushes past mine. Monty trudges out of the water before effortlessly pulling himself up onto a tree branch and walking along it to the one I fell off before like it was nothing and I just watch with my mouth hanging open in awe like an idiot. 

He once again holds out his hand as he leans down on the tree branch. Unlike my failed attempt that didn’t get him even close to getting up he pulls me up with his strong arms without breaking a sweat. 

We both sit side by side on the branch listening to the birds and the sound of the wind as I nervously twist the material of my shorts in my hands as I try to think of something to say but he beats me to it and I’m thankful for that. 

“What’s that?” Monty asks jabbing a finger at my ribcage and I flinch before looking down to where he’s pointing. “Be whatever you want to be.”

My cheeks flush as he runs a finger over the tattoo on my side and reads it out loud. The writing was messy and wonky, done after a drunken night in the dark back when I used to drink to calm my nerves whenever I was alone with Braedon but it meant everything to me. “Braedon did that for me.” 

“Was he your like erm..boyfriend?” He asks and I don’t miss how foreign the word sounds coming from his mouth as if just saying the word makes him uncomfortable. But that isn’t the problem. This time he is just genuinely asking the question. It isn’t to mock me or to scare me. But I’m not sure how to answer it. 

The night Braedon died changed everything, so many unanswered questions that I’ll never know. So I just shrug and he doesn’t ask for an explanation. Maybe he doesn’t want to push me or maybe he just doesn’t care, either way I’m relieved. 

“Can I ask you something?” I ask nervously as this feels like the perfect time to ask something that has been on my mind and he frowns but nods slowly. “How did you know how to do that?” 

“Do what?” He asks, raising an eyebrow as he waits for me to explain and my face goes red when I realise that my question made no sense. I could have been talking about anything.

“The night in the forest when I was freaking out you knew what to do.” I explain and I don’t miss him quickly looking around with wide eyes in case someone overheard me but he relaxes when he remembers we are alone. It must be exhausting. Constantly being on edge, worried that someone will see the real him and not accept him for it. It makes me want to be that person he can trust. I still don’t know why I do. Maybe it’s because I need someone too. 

“Monty.” I say softly, not trying to push him but wanting to let him know he can trust me. Keeping all your demons locked in like that won’t help. I know from experience. It traps you in until you feel like you have nowhere to hide and no one to go to. Being all alone like that is scary. I don’t want him to feel alone. I don’t want him to feel scared. Not with me. 

He sighs defeatedly and rips at the bark of the tree destructively like it’s easier to talk about things when he doesn’t have to focus on them alone. “I guess I’ve dealt with my fair share of erm...panic attacks too but it doesn’t matter.” 

“Of course it matters. Do you want to talk about it?” I ask watching him shift uncomfortably under my gaze and he shakes his head so I drop it. I’m not going to push him to talk about something he’s not ready to. 

I rest my hand against the tree branch and it brushes against his. Using every ounce of confidence I have in me I slowly inch my hand back closer to his but as our fingers touch again he pulls his hand away as if it burnt him. 

He starts to tense up again and I think he’s going to leave but then he gives me the slightest hint of a smile. Monty bites at his lip and for once he actually looks nervous. “You want to...erm..I don’t partner up for the night canoe’s or something?”

“Or something?” I repeat teasing him but on the inside my stomach is doing flips as I process what he’s asking me. He wants to partner up with me? 

“I just meant erm-” His eyes widen and he stutters awkwardly and I laugh in return, enjoying the role reversal. Usually I’m the one stuttering around him. I’ve never seen him stumble around his words like this before. It’s cute. 

“Monty I’m kidding I’d like to.” I smile, reassuring him by placing my hand on his but I don’t miss his body tense up when I do, like any physical touch scares him so I pull away and see his shoulders relax. 

\-----

I left Monty at the lake. He promised that he would meet up with me in time for the activity and I trust that he will or maybe it’s just the fact I still feel like I’m dreaming that I feel like nothing could ruin this day.

“Hey Winston you need a buddy?” Charlie asks and I look up to see him smiling at me. Great, no offence to Charlie but he is the last person I wanted coming up to me right now of all times. 

“Sorry actually Monty asked me.” I hesitantly tell him, worried that maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned it was Monty but there’s no point in lying if people see him with me- well that is if he decides to show up.

“Monty?” Charlie repeats with a slightly surprised laugh, looking at me like he heard me wrong and I nod. His smile fades and is replaced with a frown as he realises that his best friend chose me over him when to everyone else it seems like Monty hates my guts. 

“Hey Charlie I like your hair today. You style it differently?” Zach compliments him as he comes up from behind me and Charlie’s cheeks turn pink.

“You do? Thanks- erm Monty let me borrow some of his gel this morning.” Charlie explains, fidgeting with his hands in front of him like he doesn’t know what to do with them. And I completely zone out of their conversation as I struggle to imagine picturing Monty putting gel in his hair. 

“Oh uh hey Winston.” Zach smiles at me awkwardly as if he just realised that I am here but I’m not offended. Cute guys can be distracting, I should know that. 

Zach and Charlie partner off and leave after I tell them I’ll be fine on my own waiting for Monty. So once again I am left alone struggling with my canoe, failing to drag it towards the water with my non-existent upper body strength. My hope that Monty will show up starts to grow smaller and smaller by the second as I watch everyone else in their pairs already set off into the water.

“You need a hand with that?” Someone asks from behind and I turn to see Monty standing there shifting awkwardly as he rips a leaf in his hands and tosses it to the floor. He gives me a strange unsure look like he’s never asked someone that before and I nod. 

“I didn’t think you were gonna turn up.” I tell him, not being able to hide the smile from my face at the fact that he’s here. He just shrugs in return and takes the otherside of the canoe to help me pull it into the water.

I try to fill him in and tell him that nothing exciting or important happened while he was gone but he just nods along half heartedly like he isn’t even listening to me and I follow his gaze to see him watching his friends as he nervously bites at his lip. I already know this isn’t the same Monty that was there with me at the lake today. He’s buried him back down again. 

To keep him at ease I try my best to make sure we stay as far away from his friends as possible but that doesn’t seem to happen as Bryce goes out of his way to get under Monty’s skin. I know what Bryce is like, he doesn’t care about anyone else but himself. He pretends that he does but he doesn’t. Every move he makes is just to benefit himself. I doubt Monty or any of his other minions know that though. 

“Hey Win, I’d be careful with that one buddy he’s handsy aren’t you Monty.” Bryce calls out, chuckling to himself. Scott, who’s partnered with him, reaches out to get him to cut it out but ends up snickering along with him. 

“Fuck off Walker.” Monty yells back and slumps down in his seat, mumbling under his breath as I notice his grip around the oars tighten even after Bryce and Scott are gone. I can’t help but notice how he tenses up each time someone calls out his name like he’s afraid that someone will see him having fun with me as if he’s scared of letting the people around him see who he really is. The person I’m just beginning to get through to. 

Something changed after Bryce had come after him like that. Whatever walls I had managed to break through went straight back up. I need to help him and I might have a way. “You hungry?” 

“Always.” He says dead serious and I believe him. I’ve seen the pile he stacks up every meal time and he’s the only person I’ve ever seen go back for thirds no matter how horrendous Chef Hatchet’s cooking is. 

“Fancy some special candy?” I ask, emphasizing the word special as I wiggle my eyebrows, grinning and he narrows his eyes warrily but nods. 

I quickly glance around the lake to check that whoever is on watch isn’t around and luckily for me I spot Counsellor Caleb’s canoe stopped in front of Tony’s as they seem to be deep into a conversation with Ryan sulking behind him. 

I pull a tiny ziplock bag containing a couple of blue gummy bears from my pocket and his face lightens as he leans back in the canoe and gives me an impressed look like he wasn’t expecting me to have something like this on me. Most people don’t. Even though my parents never seem to care I bet they’d have a fit if they caught me with drugs. They would probably scold me for attempting to ruin our families perfect reputation. 

Like always my favourite special candies always do the trick with lightening the mood. They always cured a shitty day when I needed them, maybe me forget all about my worries even if it’s temporary.

Nothing else matters to me more than the fact that I got him laughing and smiling again- well technically it’s the weed that did but still that partially counts for something right? Monty even cracks a few jokes about the camp counsellors. Sure they are all gay jokes but I didn’t care at least he is having fun. Everything is all back to running smoothly again. That is until Bryce manages to ruin it once again. 

“Never thought I’d see the two of you becoming besties.” Bryce squeezes his way between us once we finish putting the canoe back into the stack. I immediately notice Monty freeze as Bryce chucks his arms around us and I dread what is to come if he has anything to do with it. 

Once Bryce lets go Monty’s face hardens and he steps back away from me before crossing his arms in front of his chest like he is closing himself off from me. He is unreadable and I have to remind myself that we aren’t even friends. There’s nothing I can do now to get to him without making it worse. 

Today might have been special to me but it doesn’t mean he felt the same. It changes nothing even though it was the best day I have had in a long time, especially since Braedon died. But if I want to keep that, to be able to experience that again I know I have to do something. 

“We aren’t, he just caught me with these.” I say and search through my pocket before pulling out the packet of weed candies and hold up the bag to Bryce. I spare a quick glance towards Monty and his face softens for a second when he realises what I’m doing but then the facade is back as he draws his mouth into a straight line but it's enough to know he sees what I’m doing. That I’ve got his back. 

Bryce’s eyebrows crease for a second but as soon as he realises what I’m holding up he breaks out into a satisfied grin. “Holy shit..didn’t think you were into that kinda stuff Winston. Nice one buddy, care to share a few.” 

“Just keep it.” I toss him the bag and give Monty one last look but his face is blank as he avoids my gaze before I walk off. But even after all that nothing could take away the warm feeling inside me that Monty had created. 

He wouldn’t know it but getting off that canoe with him made me realise something. The last time I was on that lake I was terrified of drowning but the fact that Monty was the one that was with me made me forget all about my fears. Hell I didn’t even want to get off it. I would have loved to just sit out on that lake all night and just be with him. I hope to help him accept who he is and no longer fear that but maybe he might end up helping me more than I do for him without even knowing it. 

\-----

“Winston.”

“Winston.”

“Hey Winston.”

Someone’s shaking me and I mumble in my sleep for them to leave me alone. I feel something sharp poke into my side and groan but then I recognise the voice calling my name. 

“Monty?” I say in a raspy morning voice, confused and blinking a couple of times as I rub my eyes to make sure he’s really there. Monty grins as he leans over the railing of the bunk looking way too happy this early in the morning and looking way too happy to be Monty. It’s kind of eerie but I’m not going to complain if he’s decided to visit me. That meant yesterday really did change everything. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“What can’t I come see my favourite twink?” He gleams and I swear his eyes are sparkling in this morning light. It all feels too perfect to be real but I don’t care because in this moment it feels real. 

“But what about everyone el-” I stop mid sentence when I glance around and realise we are the only ones in the cabin. Everyone else is gone. The beds are empty like there was never anyone there in the first place. Strange. 

“You need to wake up Winston.” He says softly leaning down, further and further until his lips are just millimetres from mine. I can feel his warm breath against my face. Up close his face looks perfect. His skin is smooth and eyes warm like honey. His lips, pink and soft. His freckles are scattered across his cheeks and I want to reach out and trace them, they remind me of the stars in the night sky. 

I can imagine lying there on the grass fields outside of the cabins with him next to me as we gaze at the stars. Pointing out the constellations as our hands accidentally brush against each other and we nervously mumble apologies but do it again on purpose the next time. 

I see me sitting up to look at his face because even though the stars are beautiful they are nothing compared to him. All I want to do is lean down and kiss him but something is stopping me and the further I try to concentrate on him the more distant he becomes. It’s like he’s fading away and I’m losing him. I try to keep my eyes open but I can’t and I fall into darkness. It’s déjà vu. 

“Winston wake up.” My eyes flutter open and I have to shield them as the morning light blinds me. It takes me a few seconds to adjust but the first thing I notice is that Monty isn’t here. After the disappointment that it was all a dream settles in I suddenly notice that the cabin isn’t empty. 

Something sharp continues to poke at my side and I sit up and rub the spot. Alex is staring up at me, poking me with his cane and he cringes when he sees me frowning at him. “Sorry you’re a heavy sleeper.”

“What’s going on?” I ask after letting out a yawn, trying to ignore the fact that everyone is staring at me and I feel like I’m under an interrogation. Did I miss something?

“Winston, care to come down to the leader's cabin once you get decent son?” Leader Standall says and I nervously look over to see him standing in the doorway with his arms folded and my heart sinks at the tone of his voice. What the hell did I do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this chapter let me know what you thought


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